While the “Head-up-your-arse” parking issues continue here in Pittsburgh, it is great to know that we are not alone!! We call these people “Peter Parkers.”
The photo at the very top comes to us aaaaaaaaaall the way from Perth, Australia.. via a Perth-based-Pittsburgh-fan. And the second photo comes from the Cranberry area, which takes about as long to get to as Perth, from Downtown Pittsburgh, during the evening rush hour and more than 14-19 snowflakes fall on Interstate 279.
So in the top photo, our Aussie friend seems to have found a person that is under the impression that their TRUCK is a SMALL CAR! Since it was not apparent to this driver that the wall clearly “Small Cars Only,” we chose to highlight it with our Jagoff-estrator technology. Gawd knows, those dark letters on a light wall are pretty hard to see.
We think this driver needs to get an appointment with our favorite optometrist, Dr. I. Lidd, for one of those tests on the machine they put up against your face then mess with your mind by sliding all the lenses in front of your eyes at a rapid fire pace and asking, “Which way is better? This way? Or THIS way? Number 1 or Number 2?”
Then the Cranberry Character…. just in case the issue is as unclear to YOU as it was to this driver.. we pointed out his “Trifecta of Jagoffery,” once again, with the Jagoff-estrator.
Hey Mr. Down-unda, otherwise known as Mr. I-don’t-really-Four-wheel-As-a-matter-of-fact-I-hate-it-when-my-shiny-truck-even-gets-a-little-bit-dirty-But-I-bought-it-to-overcompensate-for-OTHER-small-things-in-my-life, no fair considering your kids’ Hot Wheels toy cars, that are jammed underneath your seat, as a reason to park in that spot, Ya Wanker!!! (Australian term = to Jagoff!)
And Cranberry Character, those lines underneath your car are supposed to be a point of reference… and we don’t mean as a CENTERING LINE like 747!
Put your car in ONE SPACE unless your a stepladder sales rep and had to leave room for unloading your 10, 12 and 18 foot step ladder samples, Ya Jagoff!!! (Pittsburgh term = to Jagoff)
Thanks to @Beaup33p From Australia and @Patrick D for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers.
Patrick D just happens to be the Editor for the The BroCouncil Website . Check ’em aht!
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Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
