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Parking Jagoffs

Hey Baby What’s Your (Parking) Sign

Well it ain’t nothin’ to do with astrology!

This parking job… is not accidental like… I-was-kinda-on-my-cell-phone-and-just-lost-track-of-the-lines-but-I-was-only-gonna-be-a-minute-picking-up-some-milk stuff.  This is blatant jagoffery, #PeterParkers.

The bottom line, the phrase “I’ll-just-be-a-minute” is the biggest lie ever because NOTHING ever takes just one minute.. especially if it requires you stopping your car, getting out of it and doing ANYTHING other than counting to 30 seconds and getting back in it!  And even then, if you take ONE single look at a Facebook or texting update on your smartphone (and you know that you will) one-minute, only 60 seconds, will fly by faster than any Taco Bell menu item passes through a human suffering from irritable bowel syndrome!

I guarantee drivers like this would not take responsibility for their bad parking if you would happen to call them on it!  I might go up to them and say, “Why did you park right next to the NO PARKING sign?”  And just like the drivers that you beep at who then turn and give YOU the finger, these drivers would probably say, “This sign wasn’t here when I parked! They used a special machine and installed it when I was inside!”

To that, I’d say …. B.S. cause I ain’t big on conspiracy theories unless they involve Tom Brady, Coach Billa-CHEAT and the Patriots, Ya Jagoff!

Thanks to OGHOUL on Instagram for ONCE AGAIN being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

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