Not sure if you have seen these new WalMart commercials.  There’s a guy that tells everyone how low the prices are at WalMart in generic commercials.  Then they have a few localized commercials where the same guy, buzzed into town, picked a few shoppers, went to Giant Eagle then to WalMart and then compared the prices.  It kinda goes like this:

Hey, we bought Peanut Butter at Giant Eagle for $2.09. Then we went to WalMart and purchased the same Peanut Butter for 8-cents cheaper.  Then we found toilet paper at Giant Eagle for… (you get it, right?)

This silly commercial reminds of the “Hokey Hoagie” Beano’s Dressing commercial with cheap Pittsburghese that we posted earlier this year for insulting Pittsburgher’s intelligence.

The bottom line is the Giant Eagle vs. Walmart Texas-Death-Rope-Chicken-Cage-Match shopping trip ends up that the prices are cheaper at WalMart. Duh!!!!  It’s a WalMart commercial, do we REALLY think this would be a totally random shopping trip and Giant Eagle actually MIGHT come out to be cheaper????  Do the folks at WalMart think Pittsburghers are as easily fooled as a heart-and-soul Cleveland-Browns fan??

And what about the Fuel Perks, Wally World???  How about my 20-cents off per gallon that I get for buying my cards, stationary, celery, ground turkey and dental floss?  That sends the mathematics of the whole shopping excursion more askew than the long-hand-division-calculations on the 15, 1,431,018 divided by 10,091 type problems we used to have to do in Sister Anecita’s afternoon detention!!!!  You got NUTHIN!!!  (For the record, if you were Sister Anecita-Mart we would purchase EVERYTHING at your store no matter what price it was cuz we would be deathly afraid of you!)

But WalMart, here’s the biggest thing you forgot to mention regarding the difference between shopping at Giant Eagle vs. wondering through the local WalMart…..the clientele!  Quick example to make our point:  Have you ever seen  worldwide-infamous website dedicated to “Giant Eagle Shoppers?” 

Keep your 8-cents cheaper Peanut Butter, Wallyworld!  We will stick with Giant Eagle where, when customers wear black thong undies, they’re not seen riding up around their necks and aren’t showing through their white shorts, Ya Jagoffs???

Don’t forget to check out our Travel Mugs.

“This is MY drink, Ya Jagoff!

Click the pic.