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Criminal Jagoffs

Underage Drinkers Do Drive-By Carcass Toss

So not quite Pittsburgh, BUT, this story, out of Brookville, PA, has made embarrassing national headlines and, therefore, makes it to HERE!

Here are the details:

Some under aged drinkers were refused service at Bill’s Bar in Brookville.

They chose to NOT go about there merry way.

They decided to do a drive-by groundhog carcass toss.. throwing the dead rodent into the bar and then driving off.

It didn’t stop there.  Four hours later, they chose to do a SECOND drive-by carcass toss.. the second time throwing a dead grouse into the bar and then driving off.

See the WTAE story HERE.

WOW!!  Lotsa things to pull THESE guys to the front of the Jagoff pack!

1) Given the size of the Brookville metropolis, (less than 4,000), how likely was it going to be that someone recognized these guys or the truck involved?

2) They eventually did go to another bar, drank illegally, and then DROVE a couple of times to the first bar to harass them.

2) Instead of walking away with their heads down and going to get a Yoo-hoo after the bartender NOT turning them in for trying to commit a single crime, they went ahead and drank underage, drove, harassed the first bar and are being investigated by the Game Commission too!!!

Hey, when did the protocol of finding the town drunk, getting HIM to purchase your alcohol for you, trading him one of your beers as payment for his services, so that you could then go to the local playground and UNDER-AGEDLY drink, get lost?  These guys think they deserve a spot at a bar!!!

Boys, your decision making is lacking but we DO think you might have a chance at leveraging this into your very own restaurant once you’re done with your jail time or community service.  We suggest you open the “Brookville Road Kill Cafeterium.”  Your menu could include:

Entrees.

** Center Line Bovine **
Tastes Real Good, Straight From The Hood ............ $ 5.99
( with cheese, add .50 )

** The Chicken That Didn't Cross The Road **
What A Dumb Cluck ................................... $ 3.49
( includes soup and salad )

** Flat Cat **
( served as a single or in a stack )
Single Flat Cat ..................................... $ 1.99
Double Flat Cat ..................................... $ 2.79
Flat Cat Stack ...................................... $ 4.99
Flat Cat Family Pack (with kittens).................. $ 9.00

And just to stay with your Bonny and Clyde or Clyde, Clyde and Clyde, criminal theme, your slogan could be “Eating Food Is More Fun When You Know It Was Hit AND TOSSED On The Run,” Ya Jagoffs!!


Don’t Forget To Order Your Own T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

 

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