We have a lot of new followers so let’s explain….it seems almost WEEKLY that people submit us photos, like the one above, of Pittsburgher’s poor parking talents. We call them “Peter Parkers.” Why “Peter Parkers? Well, this is a family show, there’s a nickname for “Richard” that we could use to describe how these people park BUT Peter seems like better word since it goes with Parker so you get, “Peter Parker.” It just seems to settle much better with us in case someone turns us in to our mom!
But this photo was NOT taken in Pittsburgh… it’s Austin, Texas. But the pic was taken by Pittsburgh’s very own, Olga Watkins (of the Olga Watkins Band.)
Any thoughts on why this person parked like this? Well, we have it…. it’s in that famous song:The CARS at night, are big and bright! (clap, clap, clap) Deep in the heart of Texas!!
So the cars in Texas are soooooo big that they need double spaces, maybe? Then maybe this car WAS bigger and someone washed it, right there in that spot, AND IT SHRUNK (therefore its not the driver’s fault that they look like they can’t park.)
Ok..no!! This person is simply a .. well.. wait for it.. it comes at the end.
Seriously, Peter Parker-Texas-Ranger, what in theeeeee hell were you looking at when you pulled in that spot. It’s not like your car’s a prized trophy and you don’t want that guy on the left opening that door and putting a Montgomery DENT-try in your door. (How about THAT country music reference?)
As a side note, if you’ve ever flown into Dallas/Fort Worth Airport, you know why it’s called, Dallas/Fort Worth Airport….because you land in one city and then spend 20-minutes on the plane driving on runways to the OTHER city where you exit the plane.
In the picture above, we think you can fit Dallas on ONE side of the white car and Fort Worth on the OTHER SIDE!!
Yes, we KNOW everything is “bigger” in Texas but, for parking spots, we think you better go a little more like a CHINA-Bigger for this parker, Ya Jagoffs!
Thanks to Olga Watkins for the pic and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
Ha! I have family living in Austin and for the first few months they lived there, we’d get ranting phone calls lambasting the drivers there because they’r just so awful. lol… People in Austin are different. When we visited there we noticed how Austinites (Austintonians? Austineers?) have no regard for oncoming cars as they walk through a parking lot. Those sunsguns will NOT move. lol. But it has to be tough to reside in the only normal city in a ginormous, horrible state. I can’t tell what store these cars are parked in front of, but all three cars look weird. lol! The car on the left has the passenger door ajar, and the car on the right looks like something is taped over the rear drivers-side window… (?) But… my guess would be that Peter Parker (and don’t tell this to Spider-Man) was high. Wouldn’t it be fun to put bubble wrap under the tires? (…that BIG-bubble bubble wrap.) It would be a hoot to see the look on the driver’s face when he or she backs out & hears the popping!
Haaaa. Babs. That’s an awesome idea about the bubble wrap. In our old days, we would lay a brick on the top of someone’s back tire. Then, when they backed up they’d hear a huge clunk!! Ohhhhhhh the food ol days. Tha ks for posting a comment!!