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Criminal Jagoffs

Getaway Car Ran Outta Gas?

Welp… it doesn’t get much easier than this for the po-po! It didn’t take them long to figure out who ALLEGEDLY burglarized the local RiteAid. See full story on

I mean, the ALLEGED burglar’s getaway car ran outta gas! So there’s that.

Hey..I am the LAST person to talk about being low or even running outta gas at the most inopportune time. Recently, I rolled up on a gated community’s security booth as I ran out of gas. The security guard, who pretty much lets everyone that throws out a pleasant “Hey how ya doin” gets in, looked at me like “Uh-oh, who’s this rollin’ up on my security hut? I may have to pull out my squirt gun!”

The point being, when one is heading out for an important trip, one should probably look at the gas gauge and figure out of I can, not only get to where I want to to but, can I get BACK!

Well, Anthony Scoleri, (for you Pittsburghers that incorrectly call Mike Tomlin, Mike Tomlinson… no, this is not the dead Supreme court judge Anthony Scalia) forgot to check HIS car’s fuel gauge…BEFORE HE ROBBED A RITE AID in Morningside.  He ran outta gas, tried to run but, well….

Tony.. may we call you Tony? Its a whole lot better than “dumb @$$” Details, details details! I’ve never been a burglar but, I’d have to think that, if you’re gonna use some kind of getaway vehicle, the first item on your To-Do List would be, steal gas FIRST… YaJagoff!