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Criminal Jagoffs

Dumb Thief Jagoffery

Well… nobody said ya had to be a genius to be a thief, huh?  This ain’t your standard Oceans 11 guy…he’s not even a McKees Rocks Creek guy.

Story summary:

Guy allegedly robs a local convenience store (near his residence)

Police respond to said convenience store to investigate

15-minutes after his first visit to said convenience store, said robber shows up in the same clothes and hat!

Police go to guy’s house and arrest him.

Full story on KDKA-TV website

Sorry.. I just realized that I should have warned you about a potential spoiler alert about the police nabbing the alleged suspect thing.

Hey Brookline-Bud, c’mon, not even a Pirates Free-Shirt-Friday tee laying around the nasty old house? And, like every other guy in the world does, you couldn’t pull a shirt and pants out of the dirty laundry, sniff it twice, then determine that its STILL ok to wear for your return trip?

Here’s my suggestion…. as your alibi…. say that you’re addicted to SlimJims!  Admit to the robbery …say it was for cash to get SlimJims.  Then, when they try to prove how stooooopid you are for coming back to the scene of the crime within 15 minutes (while the police where there) in the SAME CLOTHES….you can simply say, “What, none of you ever bought just one SlimJim and ate it way faster than you ever thought you would, then you went through the 5 stages of “Where’d My SlimJim Go” Grief, so you ran back in to the store and bought 5 more in a panic?

OK.. well.. it was worth a try….the GOOD NEWS is.. you’ll actually get a change of clothes in JAIL, Ya Jagoff!