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Criminal Jagoffs

Dumb Burglar – Smoke ’em If Ya Got ‘Em.. Unless Ya Stole ‘Em

You know the rule.. if ya got some, smoke ’em.  Unless your like our man Shawn Jones from the New Castle area.  Here’s a recap:

He ALLEGEDLY broke into a local store, via the roof, to steal some cigs (and maybe cons too). See full story on

Once he gathered his bounty, he tried to leave.. but…couldn’t get out!  He wasn’t strong enough to break through the glass, etc.. he bounced off the windows and doors, through cans at the glass but wasn’t strong enough to break the glass. Sooooooooooo… old Shawny-boy climbed back out of the hole in the roof and went home.

With some simple police work, the local police force went directly to the Shawn-Shack and found my man smoking the same cigs he had just PROCURED!

Shawn-boy… not strong enough to break a glass door or window?  Clearly smoking is bad for your Shawn-boy physical fitness.. you can’t break some glass? Tiny B-B’s break glass! Thinking giving up smoking could be good for your health.. your lungs AND your non-glass-breaking fragile mouse of a body.

Dude! Once jail time is over, call us!  We have a job for ya.. testing my new invention… Drunk-Uncle-At-a-Family-Cookout-Carrying-a-Plate-Full-of-Food-and-a-Can-of-Iron-City-proof panes of glass for patio sliding doors.. YaJagoff Signature Series!  You can even test walking through the Grandma-proof patio door screens, Ya Jagoff!