Parking Jagoffs

It’s a Peter Parker Catcher Friday



It’s kind of like a parking wedgie!!!

For those times when you WISH you could…. this Jagoff Catcher one-ups the Jagoff #PeterParker from the yellow car.

Here’s to hoping that the driver of the Mercedes parked their car, purchased some movie popcorn with some extra butter, a super large pop tankard and some Junior Mints.  Then after that, hoping that they sat and relaxed on a bench across the street, in a Hannibal Lecter maniacal kind of way, and, when the yellow car driver came back to their vehicle, the Mercedes drivers used their thumb and pointing fingers, IN A PINCHING configuration, to fantasize about squishing your head over and over from many angles like we were in 4th grade.

Hey driver of the  I-bought-this-car-car-to-make-up-for-my-small-physical-characteristics car, next  time you’re trying to park, call ahead, we’ll put up the bumper railings like they do on kids bowling alleys, Ya Jagoff!

A New Twist To a “Peter Parker”


It’s been a while since we’ve posted a unique “Peter Parker.”  Don’t know what we mean by “Peter Parker”, go here.

This pic was taken on Smallman Street in the Strip District and, it may not be what you think it is.  We sent out our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators to look into this.  They seemed to indicate that, in the words of Curly from the Three Stooges, this driver is a “victim of soy-cim-stances.

And while this story seems to be far fetched, here’s what REALLY happened.  This very responsible utility truck parked in the Strip District.  And, like seems to happen all too frequently these days, landscapers came and installed a curb, mulch and a Guest Parking sign, right underneath the truck while it was innocently sitting there.  And to top it all, they didn’t even install all of that straight, so it looks like the driver of the truck didn’t know how to park.

And if, they scratched the truck by installing the signage too close to the truck, there will be hell to pay, I assure you.

By the way, utility truck driver, you should probably work on getting a few more jobs. Nobody in construction, that is actually working, has that clean of a truck.  Are you just carrying rows of tubes and utility boxes on a vehicle to look , cool!

And to the ig’nernt people that sneaked in and installed the random landscaping under this truck to make the driver look bad, please come to my house.  I don’t care if you install things crooked or not.

In the meantime, hey Pittsburgh…… can we pallllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze learn how to park or, at the very least, park so we’re not ruining someone else’s stuff?  For some reason, you can jam a Winnebago into space too small for a min-cooper at a Steelers parking lot tail gate but, the local store or hotel parking lot, we get more outta control than a drunk Jeff Reed fist.  Learn how to park Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to @PapaSendro412 for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Download your own copies of our Jagoff Parking notes here.


How Come There’s No Place To Put The Shopping Carts?


Brentwood Giant Eagle


Got this passed along via our friend Will.  When I asked who to credit, I was simply told “The Mailman.”

Ya have to wonder if this driver, when they came out, walked all around the parking lot swearing at Giant Eagle for not having any place so to store empty shopping carts!

Here’s a possibility, maybe this is a new Aldi’s thing to compete with the ZipCar…you know, the store where the carts are chained together and it costs you a 25-cents to detach one and use it.

What I REALLY wonder is… if the person that parked the car is the type of person that walks their OWN shopping cart all the way back to the rack OR if they are the kind of LAZY person that walks half-way to the cart return area and then gives that thing a big strong shove right toward the corral of unsuspecting, sleeping buggies, where it eventually BANGS off all of the carts in order to stop.

If it’s the latter, quite possibly, the driver put the car in neutral, ran along side of it, aimed it at this spot then SHOVED the car right into the spot.   If that’s all true Mr.-Rubber-Baby-Buggy-Buick-Bumper, we hope, when you go to drive your car home, it ends up having one of those wiggle-wheels, like on a shopping cart that irritates the @#$@ out of you the whole way home, Ya Jagoff!


Thanks “Mailman” and Will for being Honorary Jagoff Catchers today.