Parking Jagoffs

A #PeterParkers Mirror (Almost)

YJ-PeterParker_Mirror

 

First, if you’re knew to here and need a definition for #PeterParkers, go HERE.

But this was cool because, one of these pics came from Twitter and one came from Facebook and they came from two completely different people. (Trust us!)

Now, barring that anything bad happened to the driver here, this may go into our #PeterParkers Hall of InFamous.  As you can see, we have deployed our Jagoff-estrator to point out the driving lane.

Possible excuses:

1) Ran out of gas.. but did so in a very perpendicularly (made up that word) manner but came in about 2 ounces of getting that thing to coast 6 more feet into a spot.

2) There was a lot of snow on the ground when they parked (which makes no sense unless they were the very first vehicle to park and then everyone else chose to park like a Jag

3) This person dropped his wife off at Trader Joe’s, sneaked over to the McDonald’s, wolfed down a couple of Big Macs and then went to meet  his wife in the Trader Joe’s who was in there buying things for the Kale smoothies that she thinks he likes but, for the life of her cannot figure out why he’s not losing wait.

4) This person has never experienced the senior-citizen-car-torpedo-maneuver as they randomly wonder up the down aisle or down the up aisle.

5) This person is VERY experienced the senior-citizen-car-torpedo-maneuver and is hoping to get a new car out of the deal.

6) This person is trying to get an early spot for the car cruise in May and make sure that they have enough spots for their lawn chairs and cooler.

Well, for the sake of today’s blog, let’s be presumptions and accusative (because that’s kind of what happens here on a daily basis.)

Listen you pull-in-without-regard-to-time-place-or-dimension-spatially-awareness-challenged-Peter-parker-perpetrator, I realize it may take you an extra 1.585782251 minutes to park BETWEEN THE LINES like the REST OF US  (who also have important things to do) but, how about pullin’ that hobby-supply-rig into those white lines so that the rest of us can drive freely to meet OUR kale-buying spouses after sucking down MickyD’s,  YA JAGOFF!

 

It’s a Peter Parker Catcher Friday

YJ-Tim

 

It’s kind of like a parking wedgie!!!

For those times when you WISH you could…. this Jagoff Catcher one-ups the Jagoff #PeterParker from the yellow car.

Here’s to hoping that the driver of the Mercedes parked their car, purchased some movie popcorn with some extra butter, a super large pop tankard and some Junior Mints.  Then after that, hoping that they sat and relaxed on a bench across the street, in a Hannibal Lecter maniacal kind of way, and, when the yellow car driver came back to their vehicle, the Mercedes drivers used their thumb and pointing fingers, IN A PINCHING configuration, to fantasize about squishing your head over and over from many angles like we were in 4th grade.

Hey driver of the  I-bought-this-car-car-to-make-up-for-my-small-physical-characteristics car, next  time you’re trying to park, call ahead, we’ll put up the bumper railings like they do on kids bowling alleys, Ya Jagoff!

A New Twist To a “Peter Parker”

YJ-guestParking

It’s been a while since we’ve posted a unique “Peter Parker.”  Don’t know what we mean by “Peter Parker”, go here.

This pic was taken on Smallman Street in the Strip District and, it may not be what you think it is.  We sent out our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators to look into this.  They seemed to indicate that, in the words of Curly from the Three Stooges, this driver is a “victim of soy-cim-stances.

And while this story seems to be far fetched, here’s what REALLY happened.  This very responsible utility truck parked in the Strip District.  And, like seems to happen all too frequently these days, landscapers came and installed a curb, mulch and a Guest Parking sign, right underneath the truck while it was innocently sitting there.  And to top it all, they didn’t even install all of that straight, so it looks like the driver of the truck didn’t know how to park.

And if, they scratched the truck by installing the signage too close to the truck, there will be hell to pay, I assure you.

By the way, utility truck driver, you should probably work on getting a few more jobs. Nobody in construction, that is actually working, has that clean of a truck.  Are you just carrying rows of tubes and utility boxes on a vehicle to look , cool!

And to the ig’nernt people that sneaked in and installed the random landscaping under this truck to make the driver look bad, please come to my house.  I don’t care if you install things crooked or not.

In the meantime, hey Pittsburgh…… can we pallllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze learn how to park or, at the very least, park so we’re not ruining someone else’s stuff?  For some reason, you can jam a Winnebago into space too small for a min-cooper at a Steelers parking lot tail gate but, the local store or hotel parking lot, we get more outta control than a drunk Jeff Reed fist.  Learn how to park Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to @PapaSendro412 for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Download your own copies of our Jagoff Parking notes here.