Guest Blog

Apr 5 2012

Who Designed The Fast Food Drive Thru?

A guest blog today from Eric Carroll, of the music group Ernie and The Berts!!

This is one of those things that leaves me to ponder “why has no one ever thought of that?” Much like restroom faucets where you can’t get your hand under the water without touching the side of the sink basin, or the how the lanes merge on the Fort Pitt bridge, this is just incredibly poor planning.

I’ve seen this sign (above) at many drive-through locations but this just happened to be one where I could grab a good photo. You can see how ridiculous it is.

It’s asking you to have your order ready when you pull up to the speaker. Buuuuuuuut only someone with vision like Superman would be able to see the menu before they’re actually at the speaker. You may argue that this an extremely familiar menu that we’ve all seen a countless number of times… so we should know it by now. Be that as it may, the thing is always changing… and you might want to see the menu before you order.

What if something strikes you as good after you see it on the menu even though you had planned on ordering something else? What if you have $5 in your wallet and want to make the best of that dollar menu and get the most meal for your money? What if your incredibly indecisive friend is in the passengers seat forcing you to try & recite the entire menu from memory?

When it comes down to it, the sign is requesting the impossible. You’d think it would fit perfectly… right beside a menu, so you could peruse at your leisure before pulling up to the magic little box to hear the garbled message asking if you’d like to try a value meal or whatever other promotion they’re pushing. (Again, peeing in the face of progress by having you make a decision on a new option after you’re supposed to have gotten your order all ready.) They’re contradicting themselves at every car length!

Dear fast-food drive-thru engineers, did you guys FAIL your how-tangents-and-cotangents-meet-real-life exam… Ya Jagoffs?

Since you’re reading, this, check out our previous post about signs in the Heidelberg McDonald’s Drive Thru HERE!

Thanks again to Eric Carroll of the music group Ernie and The Berts for today’s post!!

By Jagoff Catcher • Eric Carroll, Guest Blog, Restaurant Jagoffs • 6

Feb 1 2012

What A Pens Win Last Night! Anyone Leave Early???

Got in the car last night. Turned on the radio to get an update on the Penguins hockey game. Mike Lange announces its the 3rd period and the Penguins are down 4-1. Thank GOD, I ran 2 red lights to get home and see the end of the game. In case you missed it, the Peguins won the game in GRAND, and I mean GRAND style!

THAT’S FAN LOYALTY!!!!! (And yes! That’s driving like a…….. well, you know!)

Twitter Follower, and former Honorary Jagoff Catcher, Angelica Michelle ( @syntaxxerrorrr) tweets us with:

“I bet all those #JagoffsLeavingEarly are real pissed right now”

That’s RIGHT!! Imagine how many people left early last night, trying to get a jump on traffic or whatever. And here WE are running red lights.

This caused us to go back and find the December Guest Post from Casey Shea, Pens Blogger, (Shea-ved Ice) for KDKA. Go see Casey’s REAL blog HERE! In the meantime, here’s Casey’s Guest Blog from December that makes TOTAL sense for today.

Casey’s Post-

One of the best things about moving to Pittsburgh is being surrounded by Penguins fans. No longer am I in the minority in rooting for the flightless birds. However, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend while attending games over the last couple of seasons.

The rest of this will be dedicated to those of you who leave close games with five minutes to play in the third period. I would love to know the rationale for spending good money to watch 55 minutes of hockey. Last I checked, the ticket entitled you to 60.

Oh, and guess what? There’s a very real possibility with this team that you’ll see overtime and possibly a shootout. Sounds like the best kind of added value to a ticket to me.

I could be wrong here, but the outcome of a game isn’t officially known until the clock hits zero. I hear scientists are still proving this theory. Regardless, why are you in your car on the Parkway while the game is still being decided?

I’ve been fortunate to attend two games this season and both were close games. On both occasions, half of the building emptied out in the final moments.

One of those games was against the hated Caps. The Pens were down by a goal late and people started to file out.

Really? Are you kidding me? It’s the Capitals! Your team needed you!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching sports my entire life, it’s that you never, under any circumstances, leave a game early. You never know what can happen.

Maybe the Pens pull off an amazing comeback in the dying moments, maybe a milestone gets set, or maybe, just maybe a goalie fight will break out.

I’m proud to say I was there for Johnson Vs. DiPietro and yes, people had already started to leave. The ones who crack me up are the people who begin to file out, something big happens and the mad dash is on to get back to their seats.

While a small percentage of them may just be using the vast amount of stairs to get a quick workout in, the overwhelming majority of these people could have avoided this situation by simply sitting in their seats.

It’s not like a couple thousand people unanimously decided they would take a group trip to the restroom. We all know what you’re doing and where you’re going. You’re not fooling anyone.

Based on very rough math, let’s say at minimum you spent $70 on the seat. By leaving five minutes early, you’re wasting $5.83. If you’re feeling that charitable, there’s some great causes going on in Pittsburgh, including the one right here on YaJagoff.com that would love that kind of funding.

To summarize, the next time you think about leaving a game early, I strongly urge you to reconsider, Ya Jagoff.

OUR TAKE: If we paid $200/ticket OR were GIVEN a $200/ticket to see a Pens game, we wouldn’t give two SHITS about traffic or getting home to get our make-up or those uncomfortable dress shoes off. We’d still be clutching to the seats as the janitorial staff were trying to clean up the spilled popcorn 3-hours AFTER the game ended, Ya Jagoffs!

NOTE: Here’s another cool website about Jagoffs leaving the game early. It’s appropriately called Jagoffs Leaving Early!!!!

Here’s a new SPECIAL ITEM. Click the pick to find it on our store!

By Jagoff Catcher • Casey Shea, Guest Blog, Hockey Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: Casey Shea, Jagoffs, Jagoffs Leaving Early, Penguins Beat Toronto

Jan 5 2012

Guest Post – Gamer Fundraiser! A MUST READ!

Logo Design By Melissa Ott

Hello there! Let me introduce myself. I am Anthony or “Chachi Says.” You may or may not know who I am already. If you do fantastic! If you don’t not really surprising.

Study’s show I have about ten seconds to get your attention:

Kids, video games, Helping others.

I think that pretty much covers everyone!

So I do a lot around the internet. I’m on Twitter: @ChachiSays or @ChachiPlays I also blog and do a vidcast but none of that is important. Right now what is important is Chachi Plays.

Chachi Plays is an event that I started last year with the help of some friends. The event is used to raise money to help a children’s organization in the Pittsburgh area. Last year I raised 3,000 dollars which was over our goal of $2400 to help with the Make room for Kids efforts. The basis of the event for so much raised I will play a set time of video games. With the limit being 24 hours straight. (anymore than that would just be crazy).

Well it was super popular and the demand came in to do itagain… SO WE ARE! This year the money is being split between:

Toonseum

The Father Ryan’s Art Center

Both are starting or already have an arts program for underprivileged children.

All it takes is a few Clicks. Go to www.Chachiplays.com and make a donation. Any amount is useful. Our Goal this year is $3000. Also if you donate 50 or more you can come down to Toonseum and spend some time playing video games with me! You pick the game! You’ll probably win. Just saying. The first and last spots are being auctioned off as they are the best. You can bid on playing a fresh me, or loopy me! your choice. auction starts Friday!

So starting the first week of January donations are being accepted. The rest of the details below:

Where: Toonseum! www.Toonseum.com
When: Feb. 10th – 11th. 7 pm to 7pm

Beneficiaries: Toonseum and The Father Ryan Arts Center

Thank you for your time and hopefully you can help us out! Come on! Its for the kids!!!!

OUR NOTE: Thanks to all of our YaJagoff supporters who continue to help with the breast cancer fundraising. If you could take a few dollars and put toward this, Chiachi will REALLY? appreciate it…. c’mon.. its for the kids, YA JAGOFF! (and we mean that in a loving way!)

By Jagoff Catcher • Guest Blog • 1

Dec 6 2011

Guest Blog, Lee Terbosic – Comedian/Magician

A guest blog today, from Lee Terbosic, a professional comedy magician from Pittsburgh. Check out his website, www.LeeTerbosic.com

Growing up as a magician – yes I said magician – in the Steel City has been nothing short of interesting. Over the years I have been offered everything from Primanti’s sandwiches and Iron City Beer to someone’s original 1976 Terrible Towel (that looked like it was used to clean up the other two way too many times) if I would teach someone how to do a few of my tricks. Although the offers were very tempting at the time, I have never wavered in teaching any of my true secrets. I have to hand it to you Pittsburgh, you sure know how to ask. Performing card tricks and telling jokes in this city for the past fourteen years has been a wild ride and it just keeps getting better. Sure, I get to travel to other parts of the country and deliver my Yinzer talk and tricks to other maybe “more cultured” spectators, but Pittsburghers make for a much more enjoyable audience.

Over the years I have had the chance to meet and perform for tens of thousands of local-yokel people… and yes, a few jagoffs here and there, but for the most part people in Pittsburgh truly love magic or maybe just something crazy to watch between halftime of a Steelers game. The stories I have compiled over the years could write an entire Ya Jagoff best-selling novel because us Pittsburghers (myself included) say and do such unusual things in social situations.

Every year I do a few local shows with some hometown heroes and friends like Jim Krenn, Randy Bowman, Sally Wiggin and The Clarks but the weirdest request I ever got was when a spectator at one of these events wanted me to make Donnie Iris appear in this his living room so Donnie could sing him to sleep with the song “Ah Leah” …yeah, I had nothing to respond with on this one.

Another “only in Pittsburgh” story was when a guy with a mullet and beer belly decided he wanted to bet that he could do a better card trick than me… let this one sink in for a minute. Yes, a drunk idiot thought he could do a better card trick than me (a professional) and so the game of man vs. jagoff began. The rules were simple: if the audience thought his trick was better I would stand on the bar and admit to everyone that his card trick was the better than mine and would buy a round of drinks for him and all his friends. Needless to say I took this bet immediately because my wager (I was not holding back at this point) was that he go to the bathroom and cut his ridiculous mullet off! He shook on it and began the competition.

I wish I could say this guy held his own in this battle but that is not the case. I let him go first and the trick he attempted to do was stopped half way through because he forgot what he should do next… So I swooped in, took the cards back and asked him to name any card in the deck. I then wrapped a gum band around the deck, pointed to the ceiling, hurled the cards towards it and caused his randomly named card to stick to the ceiling. Yes, I won. He cut his hair in the bathroom and his wife slipped me a $20 with a note on it that said “thank you.”

And that, my friends, is why I love performing in this amazing city. So next time you see a magician around town, ask him if he can make a mullet disappear… because I sure can.

From one jagoff to another: be kind and rewind….Ya Jagoff.

By Jagoff Catcher • Guest Blog, Lee Terbosic • 1

Dec 3 2011

Guest Blog, Olga Watkins – National Anthem Jagoffs

Our Saturday Feature of Quotes On The Bus will return next Saturday, but if you need a bus quote fix, click here!

In the meanatime here’s our Guest Blogger, Olga Watkins

(Famous for being the leader of The Olga Watkins Band and for being on our SONGS PAGE with “Drink Up Yinz Bitches”)

Thanksgiving Day 2011, just last week, American Idol runner-up, Lauren Alaina, forgot the lyrics while singing our National Anthem before the start of the Packers-Lions game in Detroit. Here’s a link in case you missed it. Lauren Alaina Screws up the Anthem Even if you set aside her lyrical mistake, par for the course and in true jagoff fashion, her overall performance was amateurish and disrespectful.

The most recent Superbowl gave us the Christina Aguilera debacle. Not only did Ms. Aguilera make a mockery of the anthem with her way-way-way-over-the-top delivery, she also botched the lyrics only two lines into the song. If you need to revisit the moment, here’s the link. Christina Aguilera Botches Anthem There have been other minor mistakes made through the years by the performers of the pre-Supebowl anthem but none quite as ludicrous as the last. At least Whitney Houston, or perhaps her handlers, for what was one of the most beautiful renditions of the National Anthem, had the good sense to have a pre-recorded track at the ready for Superbowl XXV and not risk a melt down in her already cocaine addled brain, in front of the entire country. Who can forget the affront to the anthem by legendary jagoff Rosanne Barr? Other notable jagoffesque performances have been given by Macy Gray, Anita Baker, Carl Lewis, Anastacia, Robert Goulet (who is actually Canadian, so he sort of gets a pass) and Steven Tyler, who, in an unparalleled act of jagoffery, thought it would be cool to change the lyrics for his performance at the 2001 Indianapolis 500.

I’ve sung the National Anthem at least a hundred times in my life for events ranging from a youth basketball tournament to a Penguins game. Therefore, I believe myself qualified to make the type of bitchy, hypercritical observations that could only be made by another singer. But I don’t want to misrepresent myself to you. I’m a trained opera singer who now sings original blues and funk and “Yinz Bitches” so I’m all about doing things my own way. However, I recognize that there are moments and responsibilities bigger than my ego. And sometimes the original, “old school” approach to things is simply the best. So I’d like to take this opportunity to communicate with all the singers and wannabe singers, superstars and amateurs alike out there who are planning to publicly sing The Star Spangled Banner.

Let’s review Olga’s Rules for Singing the National Anthem.

1. Being asked to sing our National Anthem for any event is an honor. Treat the opportunity with the reverence it deserves. The song is based on a poem written by Francis Scott Key after he witnessed the bombardment of Ft. McHenry by the British Royal Navy during the War of 1812. The basic gist of the poem is that the sight our nation’s flag gave him hope that we would be victorious and the strength he needed to make it through the night, despite all of the horrible things that were happening around him. That’s a pretty hefty ideal. So, here’s a crazy thought. Try reading the poem itself, entitled “The Defence of Fort McHenry”. Understanding what it is you’re singing about in the first damn place could go a long way towards an appropriate presentation.

2. Think of your first choir instructor. Remember all that stuff your choir director and music teachers rambled on about that you didn’t try to absorb? “Blah, blah, blah, breath support. Blah, blah, blah, phrasing.” If you’re going to pretend to be a big time singer, please attempt to at least learn the basics. When you look at the sheet music (I realize that I’m assuming you can read music) you will see how the lyrics are written with things like commas and periods. Those are general indicators of where in the song it is acceptable to take a breath. Setting aside most of the aforementioned examples, you’re actually not supposed to take a big breath after the first three words of the song. You are
supposed to learn those pesky little details in choir or from a voice teacher. Christina Aguilera knew that. She should have known that. She’s taken lots of voice lessons. She’s just so far removed from reality apparently that she no longer believes those fundamental rules apply to her. But guess what? They do. Just as they apply to the rest of us. If you’re not familiar with these concepts, take some voice lessons and learn how to sing the song properly- BEFORE your big day. OR you can go ahead and do it your way, disgrace your country and make a giant ass of yourself. Maya Rudolph Anthem Singer Spoof

3. My last and perhaps most important rule for anthem singing is this. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! Hard to believe, I know. But these are the hard and constant facts. Nobody gives a crap about what vocal gymnastics you can do. This is not an audition. In most cases, nobody even gives a crap about who you are because they paid big money to watch the Pens or the Steelers or whomever. Their ticket purchase was not contingent upon the venue’s choice of anthem singers. You are there to provide a service for about two minutes of your life. In those two minutes, you as the singer are asking all who are listening to stop and think about the significance of the flag of the United States of America. You’re asking the rest of us to take a two minute break from the pursuit of the trivial and think about all of the American men and women who have lost their lives and continue to lose their lives in the course of fighting to preserve the rights and freedoms that our flag represents. That’s your only job at that moment. And it is your patriotic duty to do it properly and with dignity and respect. Period.

To all singers, young and old, beginner or professional, PLEASE remember the rules as well as this little tidbit. At no time should your piss poor performance of the national anthem overshadow the message that the original poem was meant to convey.

Do it right or don’t do it at all, Ya Jagoffs!!

See Friday’s Guest Blog, THANKFUL, from Scott Paulsen HERE!

Scott has also autographed one of our shirts for auction, you can find it here.