A guest blog post from Luke Bruss (Pens and the Pen on Facebook)
Being a Penguins season ticket holder, is like being part of a family. I’m sure it’s the same for any sport, especially in a city that’S as passionate about its teams like we are. Your seat neighbors become friends, and the shared experiences along the emotional ride that is hockey season forms a bond. So too, do the various displays of jagoffery that all of us endure. The following is a list of some of the most frequent offenders.
The Stoneface Jag: They sit there just blankly staring at the ice. Whether it’s a big hit by Robert Bortuzzo, a beautiful save by Fleury, or an eye-popping and mumps-free goal by Sid they sit there like a zombie. Now I am REALLY loud at Consol (if you’re ever in 212 listen for a long, loud “LET’S GO PENS!” when the lights go out) but I can’t carry the whole section. Even worse; sometimes they get annoyed with my enthusiastic antics…which only makes me louder. Jagoffery reciprocated, pal.
The Profane Jag: We’re all guilty of letting our emotions get the best of us and letting some potty mouth come out. It happens; no big deal. But the Profane Jag takes it to another level…think Ralphie’s dad from “A Christmas Story”. Despite being surrounded by small children F-Bombs and Bullsmoke galore. When I am with a buddy, or my dad, or someone who is old enough to drive, I honestly don’t care. But have some consideration for the parents around you that do.
The Pigpen Jag: This one is tough to deal with; no one wants to be the jagoff who points out others’ lack of hygiene. But when you’re going to be sitting in close proximity to dozens of fans, please don’t smell like rotten meat and dirty feet.
The Early Riser Jag: This is the person that feels compelled to walk down the aisle during gameplay, and obstructing everyone’s view. Listen to the pregame announcement of the house rules and don’t stand up until a whistle.
The Jagoffs Leaving Early: These are the people who spend hundreds of dollars per game, and leave with 5 minutes (or more) left in the third period. It doesn’t matter if we’re winning or losing; close or blow out. They always do the March Of The jagoffs.
The Leaner Jag: This is the type of jagoff that’s the bane of our hockey fandom. They get seats in the very front row and feel entitled to use half of their seat. I understand that some don’t realize that they’re blocking the view of others behind them. This isn’t about them. This is about the repeat offenders who always lean during every game. (I’m looking at you, guy in the Bud Light Party Zone jersey).
It’s not the end of the world if you are one of these jags. But the next time you’re at Consol be prepared to scream loudly (but cleanly), stay seated until the whistle, and for God’s sake, SIT BACK, YA JAGOFF!
Be sure to follow (Pens and the Pen on Facebook)
Last week we invited yinz to submit your Holiday Story traditions.
Mary MacAnellen our buddy from the MaryMac Bakehouse submitted this story. Hope you enjoy it. Feel free to SHARE.
We will be back to Jagoff Catchin’ Monday.
We live in the middle of No Where. Seriously. Our house is on a hill in the wind. Farmed fields are across the road from us and stretch on for a long way. We can see the weather coming when it’s hours away. We always have wind. Always. I’m talking kite flying, hat blowing off, bone chilling wind.
We put an addition on our house that included a front porch with the idea that we could have Christmas Lights. You know what wind does to Christmas Lights? It blows the bulbs right out of the sockets! Wreaths? Ha! They wind up in the woods! Garland? Rips the tinsel right out of the rope!Bows?
They spin around like pinwheels! We were left with no decorations for Christmas.
Then, one day, I came upon a full sized Red Rider Leg Lamp! It’s the real deal, just like the major award from the movie! It arrived 8 years ago and has been in our front window ever since. Now, from it’s protected location in the living room window, the soft glow of electric sex can be seen by the very few passers-by who travel our road. We use it as a beacon to guide guests to our house “Just look for the Leg Lamp in the window!” we say.
And every year, on the first day of December, we celebrate Leg Lamp Light Up Night, when the Lamp is officially turned on to start the Christmas Season.
Click on “Mary’s Buns” to find out where to get them.
Last day of my Pittsburgh binge at Joe’s Rusty Nail, Jack’s Bar and the Stroll Inn celebrating the Pittsburgh Magazine, Best of 2014 recognition for ” Best Snarky Nod Toward Local Behavior ”
Sean of Sean’s Ramblings, take us into the weekend!
Traveling with kids is difficult.
A 12-pound infant needs a car seat, stroller, formula, bottles, diapers, wipes and multiple changes of clothes for when he/she spits up on the current outfit. All of this stuff is significantly heavier than the baby itself. Flying with two kids, particularly with both in diapers, brings an even greater degree of difficulty. You just try to get to and from your destination without meltdowns and with as little disruption to the other passengers as possible.
Inevitably, you will need several diaper changes during the trip. Just pray that you don’t have to do this on the airplane! Fortunately, most (if not all) airports have family restrooms or at least changing stations in the restrooms. Family restrooms make it much easier for diaper changes and for when you need to go potty yourself without worrying about leaving your kids unattended. However, some individuals decide that they would rather have the privacy of their own restroom even if they don’t have any kids with them.
I was at an airport (not Pittsburgh) recently with family restrooms but no changing stations in the regular restroom. Unless you want to change a diaper in public (and no one wants that especially for the disposal aspect), the only place to comfortably change the diaper was in the family restroom. I waited more than 10 minutes for a family restroom before finally giving up and calling my wife for help. In case you’re wondering, I tried the door several times and even knocked once asking if everything was okay. I got no response. When I switched with my wife, she saw a woman exiting the family restroom alone.
To this woman (and to anyone else using a family restroom without a family at an airport), suck it up and use the “regular” bathroom like everyone else, Ya Jagoff!
Follow Sean’s regular ramblings on Sean’s Ramblings and on Twitter @SeansRamblings