Guest Blog

April Fools’ Day Pittsburgh Blogger Shenanigans

YJ-Katrina

Today’s post comes from Katrina Oscarson of the JellyJars blog.  

It’s part of a day of shenanigans from other Pittsburgh Bloggers.

You can see my post over on Librarian Lists and Letters blog, where I list, “What’s Happening on my Bookshelf”  Hint: I haven’t ready many books.

 

I work in a government office. It’s not a very popular place in the public eye, sort of the bastard child of government offices, but for the sake of anonymity we’ll say I work for the IRS.  There are 3 IRS offices in our building and all the phone numbers scramble. This means when someone from my office calls you, the number on the caller ID is not their number. For whatever reason, instead of these scrambled numbers directing back to our main office, calls from all 3 offices come to the office I work in. At least five times a day, I have the following conversation:

*phone rings, I pick up*

Me: IRS, Can I help you?

Jagoff: Somebody called me?

Me: I’m sorry, all of our numbers scramble on caller ID, do you know who may have called you?

Jagoff: Who is this?

Me: *sigh* The IRS.

Jagoff: Why is the IRS calling me?! What do you want with me? Who called? I don’t even have any money.

Me: Sir, I don’t know who called you; it could have been anyone from our office, or a different office in this building.

Jagoff: *silence*

Me: It could have been a wrong number?

Jagoff: Oh, yea, it was a wrong number.

*click*

Now aside from the fact that not one single person listens to what I say when I pick up the phone (I’m going to start answering “Psychic Pizza. $14.83. About thirty minutes.”) Who are these people that just dial back unknown numbers that call them? They don’t care who it is enough to answer the phone, but they will call back and berate me for not knowing who called them. I don’t answer unknown numbers and I sure as hell don’t call them back. If you aren’t one of the ~50 people in my phone, I don’t want to hear from you. (And I might not even want to hear from you if you are one of the 50.)

But the WORST, the WORST are the ones who, once we go through the whole song and dance, instead of admitting that it may have been a wrong number, are the people who say, “Oh, well let me listen to my message and call you back.” YES. DO THAT. Listen to the message that the person who called you left which most likely includes their name, number and reason for calling and please stop harassing the poor peon who answers the phone…Ya Jagoff.

 

Here’s a list of other April Fools’ Day Blog Participants

Go read them all.. there will be a test later.

A Librarian’s Lists and Letters

Beezus Kiddo

Crank Crank Revolution

D&T In the Burgh

Don’t Forget to Eat

Downtown Living

Emily Levenson

everybody loves you…

jelly jars

‘lil Burgers

Ngewo’s World

Oh Honestly, Erin

Orange Chair Blog

PGH Happy Hour

Radio Chumps

Red Pen Mama

Sean’s Ramblings

Small Town Dad

Sole for the Soul

Syntaxxerrorrr

Tall Tales from a Small Town

The Firecracker Blog

The Pittsburgh Mommy Blog

The Steel Trap

West of Mars

Ya Jagoff

Yinz R Readin

Yinzster

Yum Yum PGH

 

 

Scooter Priority??

YJ-ScooterCutter

Today we have a guest rant from a VERY funny person, Donna Cavanaugh, creator of the humor blog site, Humor Outcasts and author.  

I have a pet peeve:

I don’t like when people treat me as if I am invisible. In Costco and I had two items in my cart. One woman was in front of me.

A woman in a store scooter drives up the line and cuts in front of me. She says to the woman in front of me “I’ll go behind you.” The other lady says, “sure, that is fine.” No one asked me.

The woman in the scooter waves to her husband who runs up to the line with an armful of items. Again, no one asks me if they can go ahead of me. When they finally pay their bill and it’s my turn, I said to her, “Thanks for asking if it’s okay to go ahead.” She turned to me and said, “I’m in a scooter. I always go ahead. I am handicapped.”

I said back, “You are in a scooter. you are not standing or in danger of falling. A scooter doesn’t entitle you to go ahead. If you asked, I would have gladly said yes. But the only handicap you have is rudeness.

Hey lady, if I could have, I would have cut the brake lines on her scooter, Ya Jagoff (read that with a Philly accent cuz Donna is from Philly)

 

Follow the website, HumorOutcast.com (she lets me write there too!) and click her pic below, to see the books Donna has authored.

Cavanaugh

The John Tesh Radio Show Rant

YJ-Tesh

Driving to work the other day…guy comes on the radio. “Did you know some foods can make you smell. You may be surprised to find out that certain foods can lead to bad breath, body odor and toxic gas.

Really? This is a surprise?

So your telling me if I order the tuna and onion melt with Limburger cheese covered in 3 bean chili, I could smell??   Huh?  And the side of whole garlic cloves isn’t helping either?  Well I’ll be.

This really makes me wonder, though, about the guy saying this. I mean if he’s surprised, how do you think HE smells?  He Rolls into the office, “Hiiii…” “Oh god! What is that Greg! Did you eat a skunks anus for breakfast?”

“It may surprise you……” Seriously what’s next?

“Make sure to tune in for the drive home with Delilah. She’s gonna tell you why chain smoking and binge drinking may not be as good for you as you think.”

Just stick to playing today’s hits while you still have a job until Pandora takes over for you, Ya Jagoff!

 

Follow Collin Chamberlin on Twitter, here.

Collin

 You can see Collin perform next at the Pittsburgh Improv, November 27th.  Details here.