Grocery Store Jagoffs

More Shopping Cart Jagoffery – CartNado


Here are the tweets that accompanied the two pics above.

Made it to the cart corral, but some kid’s gonna knock themselves out. Wheels on the GROUND.

Giant Eagle, Finleyville.  Guess it was better to get a hernia than to get wet.

The tweets seem a little judgmental, don’t ya think?  I mean, how is one to NOT know that a 3-foot wide tornado didn’t pass through this parking lot and topple that thing?  How do we know that there wasn’t a customer attached to it when it was toppled by the 3-foot wide tornado?

Is this a shopping cart that does impressions?  Is it doing a tumbleweed?

Seriously, who in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hell has time to pick up a shopping car and lay it on the racks?  At least someone  finally made the effort to get the cart back to the rack vs. giving it a shove into a wall or, even worse, leaving it sit there so that it roams freely around the parking lot, pushed by the wind, looking for a car door to dent.

Just like Stonehenge and those crazy concentric circles in the wheat fields and the Egyptian Pyramids, we can only explain this with an “it must have been done aliens” excuse.

Either way, it presents an idea for a new movie series… You know the fascination with Sharknado… well… this would be CartNado!! BOOM!!!

Don’t know but can someone stop disrespecting shopping carts?  They have feelings too, Ya Jagoffs!


Thanks to @tsickles321 on Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!


The Ultimate in Laziness Jagoffery



This picture came to us from Daygon, Ohio with the following tweet:

new definition of lazy…jagoff in Dayton

We have had a few posts about misplaced grocery cart jagoffery due to laziness.  But this really does take laziness to another level.  How many items fit in this basket?  And, after you check out, unless they’re pop can cube cartons that weigh a ton and that you’re supposed to somehow pick up with your two fingers in those little pre-cut finger holes,  aren’t those items placed in bags??

Does one really need to take the basket of goodies all the way to the car?  (Maybe the shopper was Little Red Riding Hood and she was snatched by the big bad Coupon-seeking wolf.)

Isn’t there an old nursery rhyme about this?

A-tisket a-tasket
A grocery store basket
I wrote a letter to my love
And on the way I dropped it,
I dropped it,
I dropped it,
And on the way I dropped it.
So then I just put my basket down in the mulch because I had dropped the letter which meant there was no need for the other items I bought to mail it like stamps, an envelope and a special ink pen but then when I got home, just like the grocery lists that I make and can’t find once I actually get to the store, I realized I had put it in my pocket.

(I think that’s how it goes. If not, it’s pretty damned close… especially the part of never being able to find the little scrap paper of grocery store notes that I had made before the trip but then find AFTER I get back home.)

In any event.  The grocery stores have to pay people to walk around the hot/cold parking lots rounding up carts and now they have to round up baskets?  Why don’t you do like the normal people do… after it’s empty, slide that basket underneath the odd nook of the register counter and give it a little kick to get it out of the way, Ya Jagoff!


Special thanks to @BKeough for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher for today.


Yesterday on Facebook we did a caption contest for the photo below.

The person with the most LIKES by midnight would win a prize.


We had 3 entries with 5 LIKES.

  • Sherry Laffsforlife For sale: Newly renovated , open concept bathroom. Well ventilated.
    Unlike · Reply · 5 · 
  • Scott Holden “You know your a RED NECK if this was your shelter at the school bus stop.”
    Unlike · Reply · 5 · 
  • Bob Gerlach Due to a rampant outbreak of toilet incidents, Taco Bell rethinks their decision to add breakfast to their menu.
    Unlike · Reply · 5 · 
    Since there was a 3-way tie, we put the names into our STANKY old Penguins ball cap, swished them around and pulled out the name of a winner which was:
    Scott Holden
    Scott, email us at YaJagoff (at) comcast (dot) net, Subject line Outhouse to claim your prize.




The Grocery Store “Express Lane” Finally Gets A Post!

  (This is taken by a Pittsburgh ExPat at a Las Vegas Wal-Mart.)

The funny thing about THIS incident is, while most “Express Lanes” have a limit of 8 or 12 items, THIS ONE is 20 items – and this couple STILL went over the limit.  By the way, how is it possible to be “EXPRESS-LIKE” if you have 20 of ANYTHING unless they’re 20 of the same item and the checker-outer can scan one and hit the “Times 20” button?

We actually experienced a local express-lane miscalculation spat between two people in line once.  The guy behind the the lady-that-had-rounded-up by a dozen items or so called her out right there in line.  She said, “Well if they’d open more lanes, than I wouldn’t have had to get in THIS line!” (Haaaaa… THAT’S IT… blame someone else vs. just saying, “I’m sorry, I screwed up.)

We’re concerned that the lady in the Vegas Wal-Mart’s definition of “1 more item” might be the whole case of Pepsi next to her!  Maybe it’s a Vegas-thing where people don’t actually recognize numbers unless they’re on a deck of cards or on a slot machine.

So Mr. and Mrs. Twenty-Something, “20 items or less” means ROUND DOWN – unless your sneaking in a 2-for-1 special (See, we’re flexible).  In the meantime, we’re glad to see you were using plastic to pay as opposed to being like those people that wait until the grand total comes up to decide to take their checkbook out of their purse and start writing OR look through 6 pockets for coins that add up to exact change, Ya Jagoffs!!!