Grocery Store Jagoffs

Mar 16 2012

I’m A Little Confused On Where The Carts Go!

Pittsburghers are everywhere.  Which means, JAGOFF CATCHERS are everywhere.  Here’s one from Virginia Beach, Va. 

Here the message that came with this pic:

Gotta Jagoff for ya from the Virginia Beach Food Lion.  Lady walks up and is even too lazy to put the buggy in the right side of the carousel right when I was about to pull in that spot.

Now, we have asked this question on our Facebook page before, “When returning a grocery cart after use, do you walk the cart all the way to its resting spot OR do you walk it halfway and then give that thing a good SHOVE so that it goes crashing into the other carts?“

So this lady was a “cart walker” but, the problem is she nicely walked the cart over and put it right in the spot where our man Scotty D was going to park!!!!  And she only had to walk another 5 or 6 feet to put the cart where it was SUPPOSED to be.  Scotty D’s “March Madness” turned into “Park Madness” but the good thing is, he did not simply pull his car forward and trap the lady between his bumper and the cart rack and then hurl verbal assults at her.  He chose WISELY to take a pic  and send it to us for posting! 

Hey Karen CART-penter, we’re gonna make some snarky assumptions (as we usually do) about ya.  First, we believe that, at home, you’re probably THAT LADY that walks her dirty dishes all the way to the dishwasher………………….and then sits them on the counter ABOVE dishwasher instead of leaning down 9 more inches and putting the plates where they are supposed to go. 

We’re also thinking that, you’re THAT LADY that, at the grocery store, decides she doesn’t want the large jar of peanut butter so chooses to leave it sitting on the shelf in the feminine napkin/condom aisle leaving everybody to wonder, “Who had WHAT on their mind?” 

Either way, these carts aren’t sheep and there’s no sheep dog that comes over and herds those things into the cart corral.  And, in case you’re confused, the spot for the carts is….. WHERE ALL OF THE OTHER CARTS ARE, Ya Jagoff!!!

Thanks to ScottyD, Facebook follower, for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher. 

For challenging economic/political thoughts, be sure to follow this his blog, Dzaja Jogging .

Don’t forget to get your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” cellphone skin from the folks at CellPig

(The only place in the world that has them.)

Click on the photo below to see all of ‘em!

 

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Oct 5 2011

The Grocery Store “Express Lane” Finally Gets A Post!

Hard to believe that it took THIS LONG for someone to send us this rhetorical issue – people that can’t count in the grocery Express Lane!!!!  All it took was someone to scrape up the courage to snap a pic.  (This is taken by a Pittsburgh ExPat at a Las Vegas Wal-Mart.)

The funny thing about THIS incident is, while most “Express Lanes” have a limit of 8 or 12 items, THIS ONE is 20 items – and this couple STILL went over the limit.  By the way, how is it possible to be “EXPRESS-LIKE” if you have 20 of ANYTHING unless they’re 20 of the same item and the checker-outer can scan one and hit the “Times 20″ button?

We actually experienced a local express-lane miscalculation spat between two people in line once.  The guy behind the the lady-that-had-rounded-up by a dozen items or so called her out right there in line.  She said, “Well if they’d open more lanes, than I wouldn’t have had to get in THIS line!” (Haaaaa… THAT’S IT… blame someone else vs. just saying, “I’m sorry, I screwed up.)

We’re concerned that the lady in the Vegas Wal-Mart’s definition of “1 more item” might be the whole case of Pepsi next to her!  Maybe it’s a Vegas-thing where people don’t actually recognize numbers unless they’re on a deck of cards or on a slot machine.

So Mr. and Mrs. Twenty-Something, “20 items or less” means ROUND DOWN – unless your sneaking in a 2-for-1 special (See, we’re flexible).  In the meantime, we’re glad to see you were using plastic to pay as opposed to being like those people that wait until the grand total comes up to decide to take their checkbook out of their purse and start writing OR look through 6 pockets for coins that add up to exact change, Ya Jagoffs!!!

 

Its Breast Cancer Awareness Month!  You can help us raise research money by purchasing a “Don’t Be A Jagoff” shirt by clicking HERE or by purchasing a candle from Nana Cat’s Soy Candles HERE!  THANKS!!!

 

 

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Jun 22 2011

Jant Iggle Jagoff

So I stop into the McKnight Road Giant Eagle (Jant Iggle if you are from Pittsburgh).  This is the sign just above the “customer service” desk – ya know, where the customers are supposed to get “service.”  Unfortunately, by the looks of the sign, there are too many services.

Unfortunately, by the looks of the line I was in and the ONE, very nice, senior citizen lady working the “customer service” desk my hypothesis is proven correct!!!

They offer waaaaaaaaaaaay too many services – EZ Pass, Gift Cards, Bus Pass, Wire Transfers.  What’s missing from the list – TIMELY SERVICE!

I’m thinking I am going to write my State Rep and ask that a bill get passed regarding the ratio of extra-service-workers in relationship to the number of extra services offered at grocery stores.  Seems important to me!  MAYBE I CAN EVEN GET ON THE NEWS!!!!   We can pass a rider on the bill stating that Bank Tellers are not allowed to go to lunch at lunch time, WHEN I AM AT LUNCH TRYING TO USE THE BANK!

So Giant Eagle, according to the Pittsbsburgh Business Times book of lists, your the #5 employer in the area.  How about 3 more employees at the McKnight Road location!!!

If I wanted to spend THAT much time in your store I would submit a resume. If yer gonna offer that many services, how about a few staff members to PROVIDE THEM, Ya Jagoffs!!!

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May 13 2011

Grocery Check Outters

Everyone knows about the ignorance of taking “more than 14 items” through the 12-items-or-less lane, right?  (We usually give slack  for 2 small items.)  I actually had a guy once with two baskets full of stuff, who got told by another shopper that he wasn”t supposed to be in that line and responded with, “Hey, if this place would put more cashiers on, I wouldn’t HAVE to be in this line.”  Oh, so because the grocery store’s an under-staffed Jagoff, its perfect justification for YOU to be an All-about-ME Jagoff!

 I call them BOTH Jagoffs in my brain but smile because I can do this myself.  I’ll check my 5 items out in the do-it-yourself checkout line! (Hi, Ho! Hi, Ho, it’s off to the self checkout line I go.)

And WHAT do I find?  A woman and 2 kids with a grocery cart, piled to a rounded-top – mom is letting the two kids try the scanner!!!!!!  Oh wait, do they know how to share? NO!  Mom has to keep telling them to TAKE TURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hey mom, TAKE CHARGE!!!)

I am not one for new laws but I propose this one, the “If-you-are-by-yourself-and-you-have-so-many-items-that-you-have-to-stop-scanning-to-bag-some-of-your-stuff-in-order-to-keep-scanning-Or -you-have-no-idea-how-to-locate-a-bar-code-Or-you-have-never-used-an-ATM-card-Or-you-only-have $800 cash-in-dollar-bills-and-quarters-Or-you-have-enough-groceries-to-feed-3-teenage-boys-for-9-days-Or-if-you-are-so-young-that-you-are-trying-to-scan-your-Eagles-Nest-coloring-page-Then-stay-away-from-the-self-check-out-lane” Law.

All of these people need to be more considerate of others and, hey mom, how about not just standing at the end of the checkout lane bagging the 2 items per minute that are coming down from your kids, howzabout being a mother and TAKING CHARGE instead of making the rest of us suffer the pain of your Giant Eagle a Home Economics Field Trip. Orrrrrrr go buy one of those Fischer Price scanners for home,  YA JAGOFF!!!

NOTE: I’m really not a cranky, impatient person.    I just hate inconsiderate people!

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By Jagoff Catcher • Grocery Store Jagoffs, Parents That Are Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , ,