Grocery Store Jagoffs

The Grocery Store “Express Lane” Finally Gets A Post!

  (This is taken by a Pittsburgh ExPat at a Las Vegas Wal-Mart.)

The funny thing about THIS incident is, while most “Express Lanes” have a limit of 8 or 12 items, THIS ONE is 20 items – and this couple STILL went over the limit.  By the way, how is it possible to be “EXPRESS-LIKE” if you have 20 of ANYTHING unless they’re 20 of the same item and the checker-outer can scan one and hit the “Times 20″ button?

We actually experienced a local express-lane miscalculation spat between two people in line once.  The guy behind the the lady-that-had-rounded-up by a dozen items or so called her out right there in line.  She said, “Well if they’d open more lanes, than I wouldn’t have had to get in THIS line!” (Haaaaa… THAT’S IT… blame someone else vs. just saying, “I’m sorry, I screwed up.)

We’re concerned that the lady in the Vegas Wal-Mart’s definition of “1 more item” might be the whole case of Pepsi next to her!  Maybe it’s a Vegas-thing where people don’t actually recognize numbers unless they’re on a deck of cards or on a slot machine.

So Mr. and Mrs. Twenty-Something, “20 items or less” means ROUND DOWN – unless your sneaking in a 2-for-1 special (See, we’re flexible).  In the meantime, we’re glad to see you were using plastic to pay as opposed to being like those people that wait until the grand total comes up to decide to take their checkbook out of their purse and start writing OR look through 6 pockets for coins that add up to exact change, Ya Jagoffs!!!


Nothing Says “Fresh” Like Halloween Candy in July



Had this posted on our Facebook Page… it’s from the South Fayette Shop n Save.

So how fresh is FRESH?  And, what in theeeeeeeeeeeee hell do they make Snickers and m & m candies out of that they can be available in July for Halloween and then able to sit for 6-7 months AFTER Halloween under our car-seats and in the We-didn’t-get-rid-of-all-of-our-Halloween-Candy candy bowl at work! left-over candy dish?

Hey South Fayette Shop n Save Managers, do you all have your Christmas shopping done too?

Now TECHNICALLY this isn’t really a “Jagoff Move,” or at least at the level of most of our blog posts….but what are we DOING HERE???

Do you guys want my left-over Candy Corns  that are strewn all around in my cupboard and junk draw so that you can sell those too, Ya Jagoffs?

 Thanks to Audrey Joyce for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!

Self Check-Out Jagoffs

Everyone knows about the ignorance of taking “more than 14 items” through the 12-items-or-less lane, right?  (We usually give slack  for 2 small items.)  I actually had a guy once with two baskets full of stuff, who got told by another shopper that he wasn”t supposed to be in that line and responded with, “Hey, if this place would put more cashiers on, I wouldn’t HAVE to be in this line.“  Oh, so because the grocery store’s an under-staffed Jagoff, its perfect justification for YOU to be an All-about-ME Jagoff!

I call them BOTH Jagoffs in my brain but smile because I can do this myself.  I’ll check my 5 items out in the do-it-yourself checkout line! (Hi, Ho! Hi, Ho, it’s off to the self checkout line I go.)

And WHAT do I find?  A woman and 2 kids with a grocery cart, piled to a rounded-top – mom is letting the two kids try the scanner!!!!!!  Oh wait, do they know how to share? NO!  Mom has to keep telling them to TAKE TURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hey mom, TAKE CHARGE!!!)

I am not one for new laws but I propose this one, the “If-you-are-by-yourself-and-you-have-so-many-items-that-you-have-to-stop-scanning-to-bag-some-of-your-stuff-in-order-to-keep-scanning-Or -you-have-no-idea-how-to-locate-a-bar-code-Or-you-have-never-used-an-ATM-card-Or-you-only-have $800 cash-in-dollar-bills-and-quarters-Or-you-have-enough-groceries-to-feed-3-teenage-boys-for-9-days-Or-if-you-are-so-young-that-you-are-trying-to-scan-your-Eagles-Nest-coloring-page-Then-stay-away-from-the-self-check-out-lane” Law.

All of these people need to be more considerate of others and, hey mom, how about not just standing at the end of the checkout lane bagging the 2 items per minute that are coming down from your kids, how about being a mother and TAKING CHARGE instead of making the rest of us suffer the pain of your Giant Eagle a Home Economics Field Trip. Orrrrrrr go buy one of those Fischer Price scanners for home,  YA JAGOFF!!!

Don’t Forget To Order Your  VERY Own T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.