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Parking Jagoffs

A Bike Parking Jagoff! #PeterParkers Get Better and Better!!!

Ok….. had a post about Girl Scout Thin Mints ready to go for today and then BOOM….Breaking Jagoff News from the Settlers Ridge area of town!  HOLD THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL MIMEOGRAPH MACHINE!!!!

Now, we have posted tons of Parking Jagoffs  here (we call these people “Peter Parkers) but this one is cutting edge jagoffery!!

Surely you have this experience in your parking career…you scurry around a busy lot, you see what looks to be an open spot in the distance, you speed like a “bat outta hell,” to get to that open spot annnnnnnnnnd…. there’s some dinky little car in the spot that you couldn’t see until you turned into the spot at 40mph.  Something that looks like a roller skate with a gas tank.  AHHHH fooled! So you angrily back out and look for another spot.

So the bicycle in the photo above didn’t necessarily take the last spot but…. the fact is ….it TOOK A SPOT!!!

Here is the tweet that came with the photo,

Leaving your bike in a parking spot – Is this a 3rd parking jagoff for the day?

So……  either a cycler plopped their bike there OR someone’s minivan got home with a load of Settlers Ridge Giant Eagle groceries and one less bike hanging on the family bike rack.   Whom on the family of stick figures, decaled on the back window of the minivan, will be without their bicycle???

Well, we sincerely doubt the latter scenario cuz, how in the world would a bike INADVERTENTLY fall off of a bike rack of a moving vehicle and be perfectly centered between the painted lines?

Hey Bike-Plops (how about THAT one?), you don’t need to plop your bike in that spot cuz you feel inadequate for riding your bike to the store… it’s the trendy thing to do.  Don’t worry, someday you’ll have a big-boy vehicle and be allowed to park in the big-boy spots.  Maybe some day you’ll even be able to wear big-boy UNDIES too!!

But for now, can ya please use the racks designated for bicycles..otherwise cleverly known as BIKE PARKING RACKS?

The only GOOD news about your bike parking, with the horrible parking we have seen from Pittsburghers, the fact that your bike is in between the two white lines, probably means not a soul, not even a granny that sits on 2 phone books to be able to see THROUGH the steering wheel, will run over your bike, Ya Jagoff!


Thanks to @Will Reynolds Young for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Will was on FIRE this day… submitted a total of 3 Parking Jagoff posts within 12 hours!!

Click the pic to see how to order your own hoodie!!!


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