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School Yard Blues Jagoffs

You know what it’s like trying to get out of downtown Pittsburgh on a weeknight! Especially on the first super nice day in the last bajillion-kajillion days!  You want OUT!

And them sometimes, some jagoffs get in the way:

  • A driver who parks in a non-parking outbound lane to pick up/drop off a rider, forcing everyone to go around him/her
  • A double-length Port Authority bus that pulls through the yellow light of a standstill intersection, because it wants to get ahead by 22 seconds and blocks said intersection because it didn’t realize it wasn’t a Mini-Cooper.
  • A crosswalk pedestrian, whom you have nicely stopped for, by law, who then proceeds to cross the street, listening to the headphones, while sending a SnapChat and gazing off into the sky and doesn’t seem that they will be done crossing until 27 minutes from right now

But, our man Joe Maxwell (I always feel that, somebody’s waaaaatchin’ meeeee!… you’re welcome for that ear worm) took the downtown evening rush hour jagoffery to a new level!  He walked through the Subway, i.e the “T” which has less total track length than my grandfather’s Christmas Lionel Train set up, and shut down all traffic through the tunnel. See full story on

Yep! Just kind of decided to take a subway saunter… on the tracks and in the tunnel thusly shutting down “T” service for part of the evening rush hour.  Allegedly he appeared to be intoxicated according to authorities. (Oh really?)

Way ta go Joey! You single-handedly ticked off at least 1/3 of the day’s go-homers!  That’s almost as many as friends, on either side of the aisle, that you would lose INSTANTLY by making a politically motivated Facebook post or choosing a fav pizza place!

Joe.. next time ya wanna walk the tracks, head to Kennywood Park… you can learn from the best, Bryan and Geno from the Rick Sebak video!!!  “You allright Gino?” Haaa… ok, stay away from Kennywood Park too… we don’t want you doing something stupid and holding up the Potato Patch line. How about just NOT walking around IN PUBLIC when you’re ALLEGEDLY intoxicated.

Just stay home and sleep it OFF… YaJagoff!