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Criminal Jagoffs

Saxophone Thief Kinda Forgot Something!

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The bottom line.. Jason Kendall had one of his heirloom sax’s stolen from his car while it was parked on Mount Washington. So, of course, he’s making a public plea to get the sax back.  I can’t imagine there’s a proliferation of 1952, made in Pars, Selmer alto saxes on the market these days.  I think that particular collectors market has yet to peak so, once the knucklehead thief tries to cash that in.. it should be pretty easy to track him/her down.

One more thing….the thief left behind a very distinguishing, black motorcycle helmet with neon green striping…. maybe not as unique as a 1952, made in Pars, Selmer alto sax, or a wallet or driver’s license, but…….

Can you imagine the thief as they’re driving down Grandview Avenue on their getaway motorcycle?

“I got me a unique saxophone thingy and I’m gonna get a ton of money for it!”

(and then as the chilly Pittsburgh wind starts blowing through his/her hair like a peppermint patty shampoo)

“Holy #!*#@#… where’s my helmet?”

(and then he/she starts working on a stomach ulcer)

Hey Helmetless Harry (or Hanna because I wanna be gender neutral)… hope to see ya at some open stages over the next few weeks!  Good to see that, while you don’t know how to abide by the laws that say you’re not allowed to steal someone else’s property, you’re a consciousness rider and choose to wear a helmet despite the optional HELMET laws.  Hope you got frostbite on your forehead during the getaway, Ya Jagoff!