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Criminal Jagoffs

Porta-Beer STEALIN’ Jagoffs!!! Need Your Help

If you don’t know what the PortaBeer is… you’re missing some good Pittsburgh entrepreneurs and beer-consuming buds!  

The other day at Stage AE, some Jagoffery took place … someone stole one of the PortaBeer units.  

Here’s the blog post from Albert, one of the owners.

On Friday, July 26th at approximately 10pm, up to four draft beer lovers successfully executed a brilliant heist at the inaugural Pittsburgh Beerfest at Stage AE, stealing a black PortaDraft from the heavily guarded venue. How? They convinced the security detail working that night that the PortaDraft WAS NOT an ultra-portable dispenser of draft beer awesome, but rather a drum that had been used by the live band playing the excellent Green Day covers. In addition to our system, they successfully made off with a not-yet-empty keg of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Our reactions:

  1. Bravo. We couldn’t have pulled something like that off.
  2. We want to meet whoever did it. Seriously. If you’re so committed to draft beer that you’re able to sell to security what we would have assumed to be a unbelievable story, we’d like to shake your hand (though we probably won’t leave our cell phones around you unattended, no offense).
  3. We’d like to trade. You see, this is one of the units we use at events, so it is a little beat up. Plus, it’s one of our first units, so there’s some sentimental value. We’ll trade a brand new unit with the one that was stolen. That way, the folks who stole it still get to tell a great story, and we get our unit back.

How can you help?

Tell everyone you can about our story. Share our PortaDraft911 poster on Facebook and Twitter (use hashtag #PortaDraft911), send us tips atPortaDraft911@PortaBeer.com, call the hotline at 855-PortaBeer (767-8223) x804, or download and print your very own poster here. Unless you stole it, which, in that case, use any of those methods to ‘fess up.

What’s in it for you?

When we get the PortaDraft back, we’re having a party and you’re invited. We’ll pour some great local brews and have a great time and celebrate both the return of a cherished PortaDraft and the redemption of some seriously slick draft beer drinkers. What could be better?

Are we calling the cops?

No. Unless you steal our cell phones. Then it’s war.

== Albert

 

OUR NOTE: Sooooooooo if you go to a party and some dudes have a really cool beer dispenser and, when you ask them in pure Pittsburgh english, “Where’d you get that AT?” they start to sweat… stand on a table, point at them and say, “YOU STOLE THAT YA JAGOFFS!”

 

Here is an artist’s rendering (a pic from his iPhone cuz he’s now up on technology) of the stolen item.

Click it to go to the PortaBeer website.

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