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National Donut Day Jagoffs

National Donut Day Jagoffery

It’s National Donut Day!  A Perfect time to talk about Donut Jagoffery!

It never fails when you’re in a hurry something goes wrong. It is Murphy’s Law, karma, perhaps having a case of the Mondays on any given day of the week. So there is always that person who somehow gets out of the car a millisecond sooner, manages to get in front of you in the grocery line, area to order coffee, or in today’s case the doughnut stop in honor of National Donut Day.

We all know the person, he makes quick eye contact and hurries in front of you to simply stop and either have too many groceries in the checkout line, conveniently Forget what coffee he gets every other day of the week and needs to contemplate his decision with the barista as you stand there, or again in today’s case needs 15 minutes to decide what donuts best make a dozen.

There are 12!! That number never changes in a dozen. You knew you were going to the doughnut location, did you not think about what you were going to purchase prior to getting there? Not to mention, there is always the option of simply giving the clerk the decision to create the dozen as assorted. I mean, there’s always the option to say “you decide, except not the maple sticky one that no one ever wants but somehow ends up in the box.”

No, today, when I have somewhere to be early, that person decides to think and rethink every doughnut selection that needs to go into the box. For goodness sake, it is National Donut Day. If you are at the donut shop, you are celebrating, you knew about this ahead of time, why is this a hard decision?

I make eye contact with the clerk so that she knows I feel her pain. She is equally annoyed with the “donut undecider,” and we now have this bond for a few minutes while I wait for my turn.

I timed seven minutes of a wait, which does not include the wait time prior to timing the undecided doughnut chooser, or the annoyance time prior to realizing that I indeed had an undecided doughnut picker in front of me.

After the grueling stand in line, he turns around and smiles and says “Bet you wish you got here a minute sooner?

With so many things on the tip of my tongue to say back, I simply said happy National Donut Day! And then under my breath … “YaJagoff!”

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