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Criminal Jagoffs

They Kidnapped a 77 year old?? I Have the Punishment!

This story:

These two found and 77-year old woman who wanted to do something nice for them and give them a ride that they said they needed

You see where this went.  You see where being a nice old lady gets ya.

They kidnapped and terrorized her for a couple of days until she was able to outsmart them and drive away to safety.  Yes, she outsmarted them.  No confirmation if, when she drove away, that she left her turn signal on or not but, it doesn’t matter.

They even took the photos of her family from her and said they would harm them.

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Jeezuz. How terrified was this poor 77-year old from these two?  Thankfully, they were caught.

Should there be jail time?  Maybe… but, I think their 77-year old victim should have the pleasure of return torture, but torture that she wouldn’t have to go to church and confess as a sin.

Hey Amish Shaggy and Jawa-eyed Daphne (those are Scooby Doo references just in case you didn’t know) I say your victim gets to make you both eat nothing but prunes, cream of wheat, raisin bran and bran muffins for 8 days straight.  The key, she allows you access to a toilet but, that toilet is wired to a high-intensity shock delivery system connected to the seat, the back, and the floor and is activated by moisture.  Oh, wait, you would actually be strapped to the toilet so that you had no other options.  At some point, she’s also permitted to whack your knees and shins with a rolling pin.  If for some reason she tires, she is permitted to sell “whacking” duty slots to people who bid on line…. which is how she would make her money back and maybe even a couple of extra dollars to get some straight razors to shave Amish Shaggy’s jaw fuzz.

And since 77-year olds tend to be very familiar with the health advantages of enemas…. after being released from the 8 days of “toiletry torture” you would be induced with sriracha sauce enemas!

Hey Amish Shaggy and Jawa-eyed Daphne…good luck in jail,  Ya Jagoffs!

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