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Criminal Jagoffs


The YaJagoff Podcast Heinz Ketchup

Today’s Blog Rach.. because John gags over the the smell of ketchup.. let alone blogging about it!

As a child I never took even a lollipop from a bank because it was so engrained in my mind that you don’t just take things, even though they sat out like a rainbow of deliciousness tempting me while my mom stood in line for what seemed like forever to get her banking done.  

Other things I never took since the Catholic nun who sat on my shoulder reminded me daily of doing the right thing: 

  1. Sugar packets at restaurants 
  1. Pens at car locations 
  1. Calendars at the rectory 
  1. Note pads at local businesses 
  1. The candy sitting loosely at grocery stores that had signs reading you MUST donate money for candy 

The last one was the hardest since pennies piled up in that tin box from kids like me who just wanted the saucers or sugar daddy candies.  But the thought of taking a condiment from a restaurant would NEVER cross my mind because that is like the mother of all takes. But in New Jersey, Heinz Ketchup is a must.  The crazy part is karma hit them, literally, and they returned the tomato splendor.  See news story re: Ketchup Thief and Karama!

What possesses someone to take a bottle of ketchup?  Tomato craving?  Just in case a hot dog food truck passes on the highway? It is just not logical or necessary.  I get some napkins for the road, a sugar packet, eh, maybe, a roll to pacify a child for a car ride—okay.  But a bottle of ketchup is cray.  Crazier yet is that the person returned it since it may have spawned some bad luck, especially after dealing with a car crash.  That Pittsburgh condiment staple messed with the thief’s head and the ketchup was returned with hopes to stop the streak of bad luck.  So did the thief do the right thing?  I don’t know. 

To me, this is a case of done wrong, feelin’ guilty, need to fess up before the guilt gets worse. I call mine Catholic guilt.  That haunting nun who sits on my shoulder and Spike Lee’s me—you know, Do the Right Thing!  Taking ketchup from a restaurant is wrong.  No urge too great and no need too necessary for ketchup-nabbing, ya jagoff! 

  • SinBinKreations
  • North Country Brewing