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Criminal Jagoffs

Caught With His Pants Down – LITERALLY!

This is AWESOME!!  Almost as awesome as the $2,40,021 3.5lb Honey Baked Ham that we consumed yesterday for Christmas, but not quite that awesome.

This guy ALLEGEDLY crashed a car into a wall on the Parkway East and then took off running.  From the KDKA-TV website,

A man slammed into a wall along the Parkway. Our cameras were there, when he decided to take the keys and make a run for it. Police arrested the man a short time later in a nearby neighborhood. They believe the man was drunk.

See full story on KDKA.

A part of the story, posted on twitter mentioned that the guy was tripping over his pants as he was running away which made it pretty easy for the police to catch.

When I saw this story, my Christmas-cookie-overloaded-brain immediately reverted to 4 years ago, when American Idol was actually a popular TV show and Simon Cowell was still relevant, and I thought of the song, “Pants on the Ground!”


Pants on the Ground
Pants on the Ground

Lookin’ like a fool
With your pants on the Ground
With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground

Call yourself a cool cat
With your pants on the ground

Read more: Larry Platt – Pants On The Ground Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Just in case you need a video refresher:

You’re welcome for THAT song being stuck in your head for the rest of the day!  At least it should help wean you off of the Christmas songs!

Back to my man with the sagging get-away pants… we’re sorry that he had underwear on for the big get-away because he REALLY would have been the BUTT of our jokes about the FULL MOON being out on Christmas Eve, selling CRACK on Christmas Eve or a guy who was high on MOON-shine!

Hey Saggy-drawers-Duane, the next time you’re planning on having to run away from the cops, ya might want to 1) wear a belt, 2) NOT wear your pants in a position that looks like you have 10lbs of potatoes in the back pockets or, even more 3) consider always wearing stripper pants that you can pull off for a quick escape.

As a matter of fact, maybe you could come up with an entire clothing line for escaping individuals… chameleon outerwear that changes color automatically to your escape route’s environment, smart watch handcuffs and an ankle-shackle-mounted pedometer!!

Hope you can keep yer drawers up in jail, Ya Jagoff!


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