Here’s one of those sitches (short for “situation” which really only saves me from typing 2 letters but sounds much cooler) that just, as my mother would say, “Burn yer _ss!”
You try to be a good person and park between the lines. As you walk away from your vehicle, you double check that you’re parked between the lines so that nobody sends us your picture. You also, this time of year, have a nice bulky, dark colored winter coat on that attracts dried salt from the side of your filthy car with the Magnetomotive Force of an 8,000lb magnet or the attraction strength of a 65-year old, single, female temp school teacher to the movie “50 Shades of Grey.”
But then… this happens! Someone pulls to too close to your excellent park job. This is the message that came with the pic:
Can I have a can opener please?
Thanks Pick-up Pete! You parked soooo close to the car on the right that, if your pickup was a dog, we’d be throwing cold water on it! After you parked, were you actually able to reach out your passenger side window and grab the loose change outta the car on your right?
Thanks to your head-up-your-ARSE parking method, unless the driver has their skinny jeans on, with 2 pair of SPANX underneath, has been on a hunger strike for the last 1,201 days and is the new Transformer character named “Clothes Hanger,” ain’t NOBODY getting in that car Ya Jagoff!!!
Thanks to Darci Lewis from Facebook for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher.