Is this REALLY what it APPEARS to be? The SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) staff was on it! As it turns out, this is NOT someone trying to move a couch by NOT strapping it down properly and driving down Route 28 at 60 mph.
Is this just a new way to get those sandwich, Dorito and popcorn crumbs out of the sofa? By the way, the sofa wouldn’t get so messy if you used those clear-plastic-cushion-cover thingies that your grandmother used.
The SJU team has determined that this particular brand of pickup truck sometimes attracts a macho dudes by offering special add-ons like towing packages, mud flaps, running lights, etc. But now, the pick-up marketing gurus want to reach out to more of the female crowd by offering, with every truck, a studly Wilbur Milktoast man with half-leg tennis socks and last year’s Kennywood School Picnic tennies, to simply ride around in the bed to hold your stuff down AND carry your groceries into the house.
Insert fast-talking man’s voice saying:
Lease a 2014 Pickup and get your very own Wilbur Milktoast bed-rider for $499 per month for 39 months. Total due at signing: $2,499. Security deposit included. Oxi-clean to keep Wilbur’s tennis socks so white not included. Tax and title separate.
Hey Wilbur Milktoast, sure, you’re working for beer and pizza … just trying to help a friend for family member. By the looks of it, if that thing goes rolling off the pick-up, you’re about to invent Route 28 used-couch surfing, Next time, we suggest a few spider straps for the couch and a set of hockey equipment for YOU if you’re going to continue to ride back there, Ya Jagoff!!
Thanks to email list follower, GeorgiannRockStar from Instagram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!!!
“Your phone’s ringing, Ya Jagoff!” Free Ring Tones
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