Parents That Are Jagoffs

Cheerleading Tryouts Leads To Coffee Throwing

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How about this…

A woman is facing charges after she got into a heated fight with a parent during cheerleading tryouts at a Beaver County high school, and then poured coffee on the person who tried to break up the dispute.

See full story on KDKA.com here

The short version:

Girl doesn’t make cheerleading squad

22 year old woman, Kailyn Boring, gets in confrontation with another woman about who made the squad, who didn’t, blah, blah, blah, blah and other VERY critical life-altering things that go along with cheerleading.

Cheerleading squad adviser intervenes to stop the nastiness, gets coffee dumped on her (ALLEGEDLY) by Kailyn Boring

Welllllll, nice work showing the kids on how to handle themselves in life AND in cheerleading, Kailyn.  These kinds of incidents solve EVERYTHING in the world after high school… especially the dumping-coffee-on-someone skill.  In the work place it is actually very underrated.

Kailyn,  not sure where this ALLEGED incident is going to lead but thanks for demonstrating to the kids how to take disappointment with dignity!  Our thoughts, get a cheesy lawyer and say that the other lady said, “Let’s talk about this over coffee.  The coffee is on me,” and then you can testify that you THOUGHT she said, “Let’s talk about this over coffee.  DUMP THAT COFFEE on me!” Better yet, give the excuse that the warning on the coffee cup only says, “CAUTION: Hot Beverage” but does NOT clearly state to not throw it on someone.

Wait.. don’t do that.  That will just continue to embarrass the rest of us Pittsburghers even further.

All that I know is, after reading this story, once again, I called my parents (because they don’t know how to text) and thanked them for beating my ever-loving ARSE occasionally with a paddle.  And by the way, Kailyn, it would appear is if any future as a barista at Starbucks seems a bit in jeopardy, Ya Jagoff!

 

NOTE: No matter WHAT happens at any upcoming hearings, you’re in need of some SERIOUS “Jagoff Rehab.”

Please refer yourself to BOTH of these Pittsburgh websites: Secret Agent L and Dignity And Respect 

Another One for the “Get the !@%$#” Out Files – Parent Jagoffs

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The photo above is Jeff Lenhart, 26, and his wife, 25-year-old Danielle Lenhart walking out of a hearing.  Their 3-year old son was afraid of the dark sooooooooooooooo….

Westmoreland County detectives say on three occasions this summer the couple allegedly drove to Idlewild Park from their Latrobe home.

Investigators say that during the drive they would allegedly fold down the car’s backseat and tell the boy to go look for candy in the trunk. They gave him a flashlight.

Once inside, authorities say the couple would allegedly then put the seat back up until they got to the amusement park.

See full KDKA Story

Yessssss… just the way Mr. Rogers taught how to confront your fears.  Or is it Tony Robbins that teaches us all that confronting your childhood fears of the dark should be done by trapping a kid like a wild raccoon, or even worse, like he’s snipe hunting.

With that kind of thinking, I hope the kid doesn’t admit to being afraid of snakes, fire or swimming.  Hopefully he is smart enough to say he’s deathly afraid chocolate cupcakes, whipped cream and cheesy Consol Energy Center nachos!

Here’s another thing… the parents copped a plea so they went home to… yep, you guessed it… continue to parent their three kids!  Well thank goodness someone looked deep into THEIR parenting skills and deemed them to be competent parents.  Surely they have learned their lesson and now think it’s OK to try other methods  like: putting the kid in his bed, telling him to stay there no matter what and then having one of them pop-out from underneath the bed in an Exorcist mask after letting him fall asleep watching Freddy Kreuger movies.

This kid is gonna be so afraid of “trunks” in the future that he’s not even going to wanna go swimming!!!  Wait, maybe he will be OK, they don’t call them swimming trunks anymore.

Hey Denille and Jeff, I’m not here to call you stooooooooopid.  Actually, I’m here to call you something else.  Hope you enjoyed your quiet, no-kid-bothering-us rides to Idlewild Park….that’s such a great family place for awesome family traditionals like yourselves.  And just so you know, every Western PA parent knows that, the standard parental way of teaching your kids to not be afraid of the dark is taking them to Kennywood to the Noah’s Ark and walking behind them and suddenly screaming or touching their ear, Ya Jagoffs!!!

 

 

 

 

 

From the “Get the !@%$#” Out Files – For REALZ

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Yep!  You read that right! Here’s part of the story from WPXI:

…in a kindergarten through eighth-grade school in Pittsburgh,  a mother snuck into the school Wednesday and instigated a fist fight among students.

…she actually snuck into the school through a back door with the help of her eighth-grade son… then proceeded to go to an upstairs portion of the school where her son began punching a classmate while being encouraged by the woman.

WHUT??? Whut, whut, whut, whut, whut, whuuuuuut in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hell is wrong with people??

But then again, how many parents just want their kids to be “happy?

Any chance we can blame this on music like they did in the 1960′s?  As a more current example:

You turn on the Good Morning America Friday Morning Concert Series and you see moms, dads and families bouncing their heads, dancing and singing along with that week’s Concert Series performer.  Everyone’s having a GREAT time clapping and singing EVERY WORD – all in good fun, right?   But wait!!  The performer is Katie Perry and she’s singing, “I kissed a girl and I think I liked it!”

Right then there’s a close up of a dad smiling like crazy standing behind his twin daughters that are holding their home-painted sign that says, “Celebrating our Sweet 18 Birthday with Matt and Al.”  And the girls GLEEFULLY sing as the chorus comes around again,  “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”  Uhhh, as long as the kiddies are happy, WHO CARES WHAT THEY’RE SINGING, right?

And how many parents do you think will be getting their daughters a swinging Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball to hang in the middle of their room so that they can be the next YouTube star??

Naaaaaah!  Blame it on the fact that you have to have a license to do just about ANYTHING other than become a parent!

Hey MMA Momma, not sure where this ALLEGED incident is going to lead but thanks for teaching your kid patience, humility and how to produce an MMA fighting event for cable!  Our thoughts, get a cheesy lawyer and say that the other boy was driving in the parking lot of Ross Park Mall last weekend, during the crazy Christmas shopping, and stole the very last parking spot in the lot DESPITE the fact that you had been sitting there with your turn signal on waiting for the person to put their packages away, settle in, start their car, check their wallet for all of the day’s receipts and put their make-up on pull out for nearly 15 minutes before they pulled out.  No judge would convict you for a temper!

Wait.. don’t do that.  You’ll continue to embarrass the rest of us Pittsburghers even more.

All that I know is, after reading this story, once again, I called my parents (because they don’t know how to text) and thanked them for beating my ever-loving ARSE occasionally with a paddle, Ya Jagoff!