Parents That Are Jagoffs

May 1 2012

The Pledge of Allegience – To Sit Or Not To Sit

This is an easy one.  Yes, there are huge things wrong with our country… sleazy politicians, creepy business owners, lazy government workers…BUT.. we believe these people are in the minority (that whole one bad apple thing). Most people aren’t sleazy, creepy or lazy and, despite its issues, we wouldnt want to live anywhere else.

So a Brownsville Area High Schooler refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. She chose to sit. (WTAE Story HERE).  The student was disciplined and is now suing the School District. She is being supported by her parents.

WHOOAAA!!! This stuff makes us crazy.

Even if you make this NOT about honoring the country with it’s “pledge”.. the country in which you live safely and educate yourself (which seems kinda crazy) but this IS a free country.

What if we make it about students… S-T-U-D-E-N-T-S, i.e. KIDS that want to buck the rules of an organization like a school and the parents who DON’T say, “Shut the hell up. Go to school and follow the rules!  If you don’t like them, educate yourself, get some experience and work to change them WITHIN THE RULES.”  Instead, these parents say, “Let’s SUE SOMEONE!!!!!!!”

Sure, you can make the case that if, MLK hadn’t bucked the rules, our country would STILL be light years behind regarding equality.

But this is a high school student!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a side note, the ACLU attorney has said the student was just trying to blend in and doesn’t want any attention…hard to blend in when you’re the only one sitting nd hard to NOT get any attention when you’re suing the school district on the news!

And parents, ever hear of the word “NO” or of being an actual ”parent” that teaches their kids to listen to rules and authority and that they shold work within the rules given????????????

We say, go ahead and sit down for your country’s Pledge of Allegiance.  Just be sure that, when you sit down, it’s on a plane that’s taking you to the country that you believe is a better one in which to live, Ya Jagoff!!!!!!

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By Jagoff Catcher • News People Jagoffs, Parents That Are Jagoffs • 5 • Tags: , ,

Mar 23 2012

Child Stuck in Vending Machine

(This issue occurred before this site went live but it DOES deserve posting. It’s been a while since we had a Parent Jagoff posting!”)

So this 2 year-old make national news by climbing into one of those stuffed toy vending machines.  Click here if you’re a Jagoff and don’t know the story already.  Hey parent of this child, how long do you actually have to be NOT WATCHING YOUR CHILD in order for them to have enough time to get away then figure out how to crawl into a vending machine???  Are ya busy on Draw Something???????????

Get off of the DANCE REVOLUTION machine, put down the Starbucks mocha-lotta-has-a-lotta-crappalotta put down that Draw Something app, take out your headphones and learn to watch yer kid, YA JAGOFF!!

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By Jagoff Catcher • Parents That Are Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , , ,

Oct 21 2011

8-Year Old Found Roaming Outside of Rivers Casino

Just about every news outlet, including every local church bulletin, posted this as breaking news last night.  Tran Quach, 30-year old mother was inside gambling at the Rivers Casino while her 8-year old daughter was roaming around outside, in the cold with no coat and flipflops, in the Valet Parking area.  (Click your fav TV station for the link to the story WPXI, WTAE, KDKA)

All the stories basically say Tran Quach, told her daughter that they were going back to the Casino that day to retrieve her car since she had left it there the night before, because she was too drunk to drive home.  (Uh-oh, NOW we know why mummy wasn’t at the PTA meeting that night.)  No telling whether mom was winning or losing but she had $500 worth of chips on her when security approached her and she WASN’T in the cash-out line!

We actually sent one of our Jagoff investigative reporters to the house and we obtained an exclusive interview with Gamblin’ Momma (Litterally).  Turns out she does not have a gambling problem at all, she just has a problem interpreting the extremely confusing English language.  She had been at the Casino the night before and learned about “chips.”

The next day, when her 8-year old daughter was trying to scrounge up something for dinner, she found an old jar of salsa in the back of the refrigerator, behind 3 cases of mommy’s $4.99/case beer.  The daugther THEN realized they had nothing to eat with the salsa so she said, “Mommy, we need some CHIPS!”  So they hopped the bus to the casino!!!!

It’s too bad this poor interpretation of the language will hurt mommy’s chances to be a finalist as ”Mom Of The Year” as voted by Gambler’s Housekeeping Magazine.

WTAE even notes mom has been banned from The Meadows Casino already!!

Here’s what’s needs to happen NEXT.  Daughter gets a play day.  Some day, in the dead of the upcoming winter, she gets to go out to Robinson Town Centre and play in the IKEA Ball Room for an hour.  She also gets ice-cream and cake and someone to tell her that they love her (and mean it).  The whole time she’s inside, mom has to stay outside in bare feet and no coat, walking through icey slush retreiving shopping carts.  Additionally, just inside the IKEA window, a River’s Casino card dealer is gonna just sit there and deal hand-after-hand of blackjack until mom drools on the outside of the window so much that she becomes dehydrated or her tounge freezes to the glass.

Hey Quach-the-Gambler, you gotta know when to hold-em and when to fold.  It’s time to FOLD on parenthood and send your kids to a family that WANTS the treasures and joys of parenthood.  Then YOU can drive your life straight to the gutter all by yourself, YA JAGOFF!

 

 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Parents That Are Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: , ,

Sep 8 2011

It’s A Family Affair (And NOTHING To Do With Sidney Crosby)

It would have been sooooo easy to write today’s post of all the Twitter Jagoffs that called Sid all kinds of names for being a “baby” and other things for not returning to hockey.  Those people are just trying to get famous on Twitter so we decided not to mention them.

Instead, we made a “Family Affair” Jagoff post!  Look at these stories over the past 24 hours:

Man Stabs Neighbor (After drinking with his sister and his neighbor and finding the latter two having drunk sex – Trib Live)

Man Arrested For DUI With 8-Year-old Son In Car (Son watches as dad gets arrested and swears at the police for doing so – WPXI )

40 Year-old Dad and 19 Year-old Son Arrested In Fatal Stabbing (Ya see, they were defending their daughter/sister that got in a fight with her best friend.. blah, blah, blah some how the girls make up but dad and son team up to kill someone ALLEGEDLY- WTAE)

Whatever happened to dads and son just taking in a baseball game to make an evening interesting?  Should we be blaming this on the Pirates record?

And when did having a beer with a neighbor turn into your neighbor ending up with your sister IN YOUR HOUSE??  It’s like a block party with the Hells Angels.

Can we blame this lack of responsibility on Rock and Roll like they did in the 1960′s?  As a currrent day example:

You turn on the Today Show’s Friday Morning Concert Series and you see moms, dads and families bouncing their heads, dancing and singing along with that week’s Concert Series performer.  Everyone’s having a GREAT time clapping and singing EVERY WORD – all in good fun, right?   But wait!!  The performer is Katie Perry and she’s singing, “I kissed a girl and I think I liked it!”

Right then there’s a close up of a dad smiling like crazy standing behind his twin daughters that are holding their home-painted sign that says, “Celebrating our Sweet 18 Birthday with Matt, Meredith and Al.”  And the girls GLEEFULLY sing as the chorus comes around again,  “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”  Uhhh, as long as the kiddies are happy, WHO CARES WHAT THEY’RE SINGING, right?

Naaaaaah!  Blame it on the fact that you have to have a license to do just about ANYTHING other than become a parent!

Mr. DUI GUY, don’t worry.  What do 8 year-old kids remember anyways and you’d probably get drunk and act the same way at a baseball game.  And to the Father-and-son tag-team-stabbers, well, use the alibi that you thought this was just a 3-D X-box game and you were having “quality together time!”  And Mr. Neighbor-Stabber, good luck getting a cup of sugar from anyone in the neighborhood, but either way, LEMONADE might be a good suggestion the next time your friends come over to chat.

To all 3 of you, thanks for making us glad that my parents whooped us with a paddle occasionally, made us say, “Yes Sir” and ”No Ma’am” and made us come in when the street lights came on, Ya Jagoffs!

CHECK THIS OUT!  The son of Twitter Follower @Rach4Steelers (Minnesota) wearing one of our t-shirts in London, England!!! 

Click on his picture to order your OWN shirt, Ya JAGOFFS!

 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Parents That Are Jagoffs • 0

Aug 17 2011

Half Naked Drunk Woman Running Free In Fayette County – Can It Get Any Better?

WPXI Reporter Courtney Brennan filed a report about volunteer firefighters, EMS and police who were dispatched “for a vehicle accident, a rear-end type collision.” 911 had sent messages that the female driver was fleeing the scene and wasn’t dressed.  Imagine THAT coming over your scanner or emergency radio.

What a great recruitment tool for volunteer fire and EMS agencies:  Volunteer firefighter’s beeper goes off and he says to his buddies, “I gotta go.  There’s a half naked drunk woman running free at a car accident.”  WHOAAA.. blow some sirens, chase drunk naked women, where do I sign up?

As it turns out the lady crashed her car and, not only had booze in her car but her 7 year-old daughter too.  And apparently mom didn’t remember that she had an identifying license plate on the car she was leaving behind when she decided to run away from the scene dragging her daughter in tow.  Mom ALSO didn’t expect that there’d be some young boys in the neighborhood that would do ANYTHING to say that they caught themselves a naked lady on their summer vacation!!!

Ok, maybe she had a good excuse, maybe, JUST MAYBE, she was trying to teach her daughter the age-old lesson of “making sure you always go out with clean underwear on just in case you get in an accident.”   Maybe mommy didn’t have time to put clean undies on when she was rushing to get herslef to choir practice and her 7 year-old daughter to summer bible school soooooooo, when she got in the accident, she said, “Hey, I better take my 3-day old panties off before the ambulance gets here so I don’t get in MORE trouble.”  (Just sayin’)

Hey “Mommy DRUNK-est,” here’s a toast to hoping that your daughter finds a good foster family and that YOU get some time solace time in jail to pull your life together and get that pole-dancing career on track, YA JAGOFF!!

 

Don’t forget to get your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” T-shirt by clicking the t-shirt below.

 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Driving Jagoffs, Parents That Are Jagoffs • 2 • Tags: , ,

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