Movie Jagoffs

Aug 1 2011

Our FIRST Batman Movie Jagoff


This is the kind of story that makes us GLAD we started this page. It’s EVERYTHING we expected in a story.

As I turned on the 10pm news last night as background noise while trying to figure out what the next Jagoff post was going to be, up it came.  Like Jesus’ likeness on toast or a garage wall.

(Insert angel noises here)

A news story about Micah Calamosca of the high-society-Shadyside section of the City. Seems that Micah felt that he needed a car Sunday afternoon and is not aware of the ZIP CARS. So he jumped in a random car that was already running.  Unfortunately the car was a police vehicle and was occupied – BY AN PLAINCLOTHES POLICE OFFICER!

When the law enforecment officer identified himself, Micah simply told the guy he was part of the Batman Movie filming that is currently taking place and that he was supposed to steal a card according to the script!

Micah, we’re not sure if you’re a huge idiot OR a quick-on-your-feet GENIUS.  We give you an “A” for effort on that excuse.

But RIDDLE ME THIS my dear Micah-Bruce-Wayne-Wanna-be, “Can Micah Calamosca the Shadyside millionaire playboy, industrialist, and philanthropist and Micah-the-snake-charming-car-jacker truly co-exist?  Please format your answer in  the form of a question (a la Jim Carey, Riddler from Batman Forever, 1995), YA JAGOFF!!!

NOTE: We think you should have told the cop you were making one of those silly Sears Optical TV commercials CLICK HERE if not familiar.

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By Jagoff Catcher • Batman Jagoffs, Movie Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , , , ,

Jul 18 2011

Final Harry Potter Movie

Old Photo Credit, Tracy Fedkoe – Chartiers Valley Patch.com

So last Friday at 12:01 AM, theaters all over were prepared for an onslaught of people dressed as Harry Potter characters to come and watch the Final Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows 2.

Crowds and theater managers have been on high-alert for MONTHS – Got enough pop ordered?  Check.  Got enough popcorn ordered? Check.  Bathrooms clean? Who cares this is a movie theater!  Got all the projectors and light bulbs working?  Check (UNLESS you are at the Destinta in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania.)

My first-hand report is that the first 5 minutes, or so, of the movie flickered and had horrible or no sound.  The crowd got pretty edgy – almost to the point that some of those dressed as Harry started aiming their homemade magic wands at the screen and Destinta staff. 

The crowd continued to get edgy but the problem resolved and the movie played on without a restart.  As part of remuneration to the paying customers for their inconvenience, the Destinta staff gave everyone free passes to a future movie. NICE MOVE!  But then, they handed out souveneir Harry Potter 3-D glasses to everyone. 

WHAT???????????????????? Yep!  3-D Harry Potter glasses from like 2 years ago!

Hey Destinta: #1,  so much for the let’s-be-ready-for-the-big-night check-list, #2, where did ya pull THOSE useless things from?  Why not just hand out some old bowling shoes, Xanadu World Premier Tube Tops, fake beards and wigs from the Love Guru Premier, Gigli tote bags, and a Jaromir Jagr shirt and Barry Bonds anti-drug posters, YA JAGOFFS!

IMPORTANT!!!!  Go see our now page on the site, “Where In The World Is a Don’t Be A Jagoff T-shirt”  (Click Here)

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By Jagoff Catcher • Movie Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: , , ,

Apr 20 2011

Movie Theater Jagoff (Not What You Might Expect)

So we went to see “Atlas Shrugged” at the Southside Works Cinema.  (Good movie by the way and thanks to my wife for securing tickets EARLY.)

While they were packing everyone in to the theater, the movie trailer for “Fast Five,” starring Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel came up.  It’s clear from the trailer that this is an action movie with stuff blowing up, car crashes, guns, fists, dirt, smoke and sweat!

One of the scenes shows Vin Diesel and Johnson, in a convertible, speeding off of a cliff  – the car does a free fall down this huge ravine and the boys time their jump out of it PERFECTLY, to land in the water without being killed.

The girl next to me yells, “They’d be DEAD!”

My thoughts: “NOOOOOO REALLY?”

At that point I was REALLY hoping that she had never seen E.T., The Santa Clause, Star Wars or Young Frankenstein (I’m sure you can name more).

Lady, we’re IN A MOVIE THEATER where they show “People-suddenly-fall-in-love-on-a-subway-The-ugly-guy-gets-the-hot-girl-Nobody-showers-or-brushes-their-teeth-after-having-sex-But-wakes-up-looking-perfect-Puppies-never-die-Unsuspecting-hero-sinks-the-basketball-to-win-the-championship-at-the-last-minute-Solve-the-murder-case-with-not-yet-invented-cool-pocket-scanners-in-24-hours-People-stand-real-close-to-explosions-get-knocked-down-and-brush-themselves-off-Even-Justin-Beiber-can-be-a-rockstar” type films.

If ya want real life programs, go home and watch Charlie Sheen Two-and-a-Half-Men reruns, YA JAGOFF!!!

FYI, I posted the photo of the Southside Works on this so that people NOT or FORMERLY from Pittsburgh can see what a cool area it is – IT’S NOT SMOKEY!!

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By Jagoff Catcher • Movie Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: ,