Movie Jagoffs

Movie-Going Jagoffs

YJ-MovieJags

OK.. the Ya Jagoff trip to Hawaii is on.  

I am presenting at the Hawaii Social Media Summit this week.  

So we have some awesome guest blogs this week!

Today’s by  Laurie Koozer works at University of Pittsburgh and blogs over at www.YinzrReadin.com.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you may have noticed that our beloved city has become something of a big deal when it comes to movies.  When I went to see the awesome movie Gravity a few weeks ago, I felt all kinds of civic pride when a preview for an upcoming Stallone and DeNiro flick featured several shots of the city skyline and the McKees Rocks Bridge.

I was considerably less proud of my city, and humanity in general, about 45 minutes later when it sounded like the whole theater had broken out in conversation.

If you’ve seen Gravity then you know that this is the kind of movie that swings between deafeningly loud and devastatingly quiet with not much in-between.   Every time the volume got lower, I could hear the conversation between a mom and her elementary school age son sitting just behind us.  I, too, am the parent of an intensely curious child who questions everything.  I also know that there is a time and place to give detailed answers at full decibel and that a movie theater is not that place.  I paid $13 a pop to see Clooney and Bullock in space not listen to your theories on space debris or life inside a satellite!!

And it wasn’t just them, a few rows behind there was a couple chatting and a few rows below that some teenage girls were whispering louder than the crowd at the Pirates’ wild card win.

By the time the movie got to the quiet point where I was supposed to reflect on Bullock’s emotional plight, I was too busy being angry to concentrate.  Instead, I was seriously reflecting that hurdling through space seemed like a cakewalk compared to sitting in this theater and enduring one more minute of all this non-stop yakking!

Okay, so in the grand scheme of things, I know that talking in the movie theaters doesn’t really compare to space catastrophe but can anybody tell me what is so important and interesting that people can’t wait 90 minutes to tell somebody?  Unless you get a text that Sidney Crosby is eating dinner at the PF Changs next door or there is an asteroid coming to destroy the theater, it can wait!

There are already 17 million reminders at the beginning of the movie to turn off your cell phones, do we also need a few dozen reminders to shut the hell up?

Even if societal manners have degraded to the point where all the jagoffs are talking during the movie, I want to believe that Pittsburghers are better than that.

So prove me right and next time you go out to see a movie, just sit down, shut up and enjoy the show, YA JAGOFFS!!

 

Still clueless about proper theater etiquette?  Check out Laurie’s blog Yinz R Readin for some  pro tips on how to watch a movie

 

About Today’s Guest Blogger:

Laurie is the author of the Pittsburgh-centric novel What Happens on Sunday.

The ebook is available now on Amazon.  Click The Pic

Movie Theater Jagoff (Not What You Might Expect)

So went to a movie a few weeks ago.

While they were packing everyone in to the theater, the movie trailer for “Fast and Furious” starring Vin Diesel came up.  It’s clear from the trailer that this is an action movie with stuff blowing up, car crashes, guns, fists, dirt, smoke and sweat!

One of the scenes shows Vin Diesel and company fighting and they fall from an airplane into a car… PERFECT LANDING even by the Russian Judge without nobody killed.

The girl next to me yells, “They’d be DEAD!

My thoughts: “NOOOOOO REALLY?

At that point I was REALLY hoping that she had never seen E.T., The Santa Clause, Star Wars or Young Frankenstein (I’m sure you can name more).

Lady, we’re IN A MOVIE THEATER where they show “People-suddenly-fall-in-love-on-a-subway-The-ugly-guy-gets-the-hot-girl-Nobody-showers-or-brushes-their-teeth-after-having-sex-But-wakes-up-looking-perfect-Puppies-never-die-Unsuspecting-hero-sinks-the-basketball-to-win-the-championship-at-the-last-minute-Solve-the-murder-case-with-not-yet-invented-cool-pocket-scanners-in-24-hours-People-stand-real-close-to-explosions-get-knocked-down-and-brush-themselves-off-Even-Justin-Beiber-can-be-a-rockstar” type films.

If ya want real life programs, go home and watch Charlie Sheen Two-and-a-Half-Men reruns, YA JAGOFF!!!

 

Pittsburgh Ladies’ Night Out – Breaking Dawn

Well, the Twilight series is winding down with numerous Pittsburgh ladies going for a “Ladies’ Night Out”  to see “Breaking Dawn.”

Bunches of ‘em at every showing… at the South Side Works - Cheesecake Factory for dinner, the Wine Loft for drinks and a movie at the South Side Works Cinema where they oooooogle, wiggle and giggle over a shirtless young stud like Taylor Lautner.

RESULT: The ladies had a crazy night out!

Now let’s SWITCH it.  

What if a bunch of older guys pay big bucks for a guys’ night out  at the South Side Works - Hofbräuhaus for dinner, the Claddagh’s for drinks and a movie at the South Side Works Cinema  where they squirm in their skid-marked under drawers over a young female, Taylor Swift as an exmaple.

Yeah, YOU get it!!!

RESULT: Those guys are SICK old men!

Ladies, enjoy the double standard but, just to let you in on a little secret from the GUY HANDBOOK….that whole thing of opening the car door for you and then walking around and letting ourselves in is NOT about you.  It’s really about giving US time to FART before we get in the car.  So take THAT double standard, Ya Jagoffs!!!!!

Author’s note:  The male situation above is OBVIOUSLY fabricated OTHER than the going-out-with-skid-marked-underwear part. Cuz MOST guys’ nights out involve the absolute cheapest alcohol possible. 

Pre-order one of these in time for Christmas. 

They will be on our store and pre-orders will be taken in order to ship in time for Christmas!!!

Click the pic to order.