Gas Station Jagoffs

The Perpendicular Pumper

 

YJ-OGhoul

 

Really?  There’s not some common sense thing that tells you you should pull parallel to the fuel pumps vs. perpendicular?

Here’s the message that was on the Instagram photo from the Monroeville GetGo:

I think I’m just gonna stay in today. Too many morons are out.

Lady, I’ve struggled with math, algebra and geometry a little myself…

Which one of these hickey-ma-jiggers, < >, is greater than?  Is it the one that OPENS to the larger number or the one that POINTS to the larger number?

If the Mon Incline leaves the station at 10:02 am and has 9 passengers on it and travels at 5 mph on a chain, solve for x which = the number of passengers that have tried to walk down the side of Mount Washington.

Horizontal vs Vertical  (Hint: Vertical blinds go across your window which means they should be HORIZONTAL BLINDS but we call them vertical because engineers are the same jagoffs that got A’s in your math class)

But YOUR struggle seems a little worse my Monroeville Petro Maden.

Here’s to hoping you get the parallel vs. perpendicular thingy figured out before you try to “Perpendicular Park,” Ya Jagoff.

 

Thanks to Tim O’Ghoul on Instgram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Self Serve – If Ya Know How

YJ-GasPumpsSync

 

We’ve posted some self serve gas pump stories before…people that fill their car with gas and the go inside to buy snacks, use the restroom, fix their make-up, apply for a second mortgage or whatever as well as the gas pumps that don’t have the little thingies on them to hold the pump open “hands free!”

This one is not so much bad or mean as it is entertaining.

I’m more than entertained by their jagoffery synchronization of filling their gas pumps and tugging on the hose to get more length !  (Watch yourself that one!)

I wonder if they are retired synchronized swimmers????

Word has it that they also went to put air in their rear tires but stretched the hose up over the hood, roof and trunk!!!

“More hose!”  (Watch yourself that one too!!)

Ladies good effort!!  We don’t really see a future for a Summer Olympic event for synchronized-self-serve-salsa.

But if there was, you’d be a Gold Medal pair…..and, given YOUR talent level, then USA would have YEARS of Gold Medal Domination  before China or the Rumanians could catch up to us on this one.

In the meantime, just as a reminder,  that little tiny arrow thingy near the gas pump icon on your dashboard is NOT an extra turn-signal indicator…..it actually points to the side your gas cap is on. What??  Yeppir!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh and keep searching for those left-handed gas pumps, Ya Jagoffs!!

 

Thanks to Trish (@PGHgrlnRDU) who sent us the above pic from North Carolina!!!

The New Squeegee Carwash Method – While EVERYONE Waits!

 

It is HARD to tell what’s going on in this picture from the Sheetz store in North Huntingdon, PA.  Out of all of the “Gas Station Jagoffs.” this one MIGHT just be the champeeeeeen.

Here’s the tweet that accompanied the pic:

Here’s a Jagoff for you. Out-of-towner washing his entire vehicle with the window washer at Sheetz…

He finished pumping and continued to wash! Was at it for another 10-15 minutes AFTER gas!

So, yeah.. washed the entire car with the squeegee and a bucket of window wash fluid.   It left the questions, like:

For lunch, did he order a bun, lettuce, tomatoes and onions ONLY at the MTO machine and then pull out some leftover breakfast sausage that he had stuffed in his pants pocket since the continental breakfast at the hotel this morning?

Did he top off his fuel tank by going around to each pump and tapping the 9 extra drops out of each nozzle into his tank?

Do you think he wraps medicine bottle cotton-balls on to paperclips, stolen from the office, as Q-tips?  Or does he stick a used hairpin in his ear to scoop out the wax and then gaze at the chunks?

Sure.. everyone scams the system at times… people like me that take huge wads of napkins from the restaurants like Sheetz and throw them in the glove compartment of the car for those sneeze/choking/snot emergencies!

Hey Squeegee Squidward, thanks for tying up the gas pump while you gave your car a mani and a pedi.  Thank GAWD they give ya free soap back at the hotel!!  We  would have hated to see you standing at the pump for ANOTHER 15 minutes, with a bunch of those little wipey blue towels tied in a knot on your head and wrapped around your waist, while you scrubbed your underarms and dinkyd00 with that same squeegee.  You probably would have ALSO jipped into the tire filling station to blow dry your hair, Ya Jagoff!!!

 

Thanks to  @NHTdad for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today. 

 

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