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Work Jagoffs

Who’s At Lunch When You Run Out On Your Lunch Hour For Something??

For those of you who don’t get this right away, it’s all right. That’s what we’re here for! Unless one works at Quest Diagnostics, we imagine it would be quite hard to get there unless it was during lunch!! Who’s the office manager there, a toddler? Seriously this kind of stuff KILLS us.

The only thing more dumb would be to say,   “Cleveland Brown’s Fans Welcome during non-existing Sunday hours.”  Wait, maybe that one’s ok cuz they have nothing else happening on Sundays.


You’re at work.  Lunch hour is coming up and you are going to run that errand during lunch hour.  Today, it’ finally getting the time to have that blood test stuff done that your doctor prescribed 4 and a half weeks ago.  11:55am comes, you shut down your personal Facebook account early and you head on over to Quest Diagnostics to get the blood draw done.  You get there and you see this sign!!!!

C’mon! Does the WHOLE office all really have to shut down at lunch time???

Do ya think they all go to McDonalds. Then they all come back, realize no one is there so they decide to check their own LDL’s, HDL’s, HTML’s, EIEIO’s and LMNOP’s?

We think the person who decided Noon was a good time for all of the Quest phlebotomists to take lunch was probably unsuccessful at their previous consulting jobs:

Suggesting grocery stores to be closed on the weekends

Church closings on Sundays

And “POP ONLY” sales 4 hours before all Steelers, Pirates and Penguin games at all beer distributors.

Imagine if we would have actually wasted our 5 minute-vending-machine-stride-gum-lunch-break to get to your office..or worse, our coveted SMOKE BREAK!!!!

Look, Questa-phlebotomers, Dr. Lou Stool (our G.I. doctor) said we eat too many Kennywood corndogs and ordered us to get our blood tested.  You’re closed before work.  You’re closed AFTER work and you’re closed during our lunch break.

Here’s what we have determined out of all of this… you have lunch with bank tellers and postal employees every day.  We know this cuz,  when we’ve had other errands to run at lunch… get some stamps, cash a check… GUESS WHO ELSE IS AT LUNCH DURING OUR LUNCH HOUR??

As a heads up, we’re getting a job at your favorite pizza place.  And every time you call in for a lunchtime delivery, we’re gonna simply say, “Thanks for your order.  We’ll just drop those pizzas off when it’s convenient for us.. about 2am on our way home from work,” Ya Jagoffs!


Don’t forget to check out our t-shirts. Proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research at Magee Women’s Hospital.

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