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Cycling Jagoffs

The Swerving Red Solo Truck Jagoff

Back in September, we made a post about problems with drivers and cyclists.  And like we said then about this topic,

 Lots of jagoffery blame to go around.. cyclists with boxes piled up on their handle bars riding dangerously thru downtown, car and truck drivers who have no idea how to stay in between the double yellow line and the solid white line as they go around a sharp curve… etc, etc.

Yesterday WPXI, KDKA and the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us,” ran a story about Nick Drombosky who, as witnesses substantiated, was deliberately run off the road by a red pick-up truck after Nick  held his hand out to suggest what should be his cycling space.  WHAT?

Hard to believe the hardcore-ness of that. Secondly, it’s hard to believe the ABSOLUTE STOOOOOOOOOOPIDITY of doing that in this current day of smart phone cameras, surveillance cameras on every corner and cameras on ATMs that seem to take satellite quality pictures of a pimple a half block away.

Now we don’t know the full story BUT here is what we DO know…..Nick owns a company, Fiks:Reflective Gear, that makes bike safety apparel.   The bad news is it does NOT appear that Nick had on OUR new invention, The 4-Footer cycle pants.  As a quick aside, our 4-Footer cycle pants are made of standard, skin-hugging, moisture resistant, sometimes-offensive-on-SOME-people cycling pants material and have a factory-attached 4-foot arm that extends from the buttocks area.  They were specifically designed after the Pittsburgh 4-foot cycle law to help the “measurement challenged.”  Great for cycling safety but horrible for an emergency trip into a porta-john.

On the other hand, it sounds pretty clear that, the guy in the red pickup truck, was hell bent on ruining Nick’s bike ride no matter WHAT he was wearing. So far the truck driver has not yet been caught.

Hey “Red-Solo-Truck” driver, its clear that you are still harboring ill feelings from when you were a kid and all the other kids were allowed to ride their  Huffy, banana-seat bikes with sissy bars and baseball cards taped to the back spokes to fake an engine noise AFTER the street lights came on while YOU had to PARK your hand-me-down Barbie bike with the basket on the front, a silly thumb bell and sparkly handle bar streamers and go WORSH your face when the street lights came on!  That red truck is PROBABLY a hand-me-down from your big brother too!

We’re not sure how long it is going to take to catch you but…. Red Solo truck, when they pick you up (like how we did that there), we’re going to recommend that  part of your punishment includes placing you on the sidewalk out front of the “Over The Bar Cycle Cafe,” on your back, nude, spread eagle, with your ankles in the air for an entire week while letting the cyclists use your crotch as a pull-in cycle rack.

Maybe THEN you’ll learn some consideration for cyclists, Ya Jagoff!!!!

Thanks to Jun Zuniga for sending us this story and being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.


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