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The Fort Pitt Bathtub Jagoffery

Rachael Rennebeck

 

I was Jaggy-on-the-Spot for this one.

If you’ve been there, you know what we mean.  Traffic is lined up from the Fort Pitt Bridge approach all the way to the Oakland exit… what seems like 901 miles. EXCEPT for the right lane that heads to the North Side.  You can get in that lane and head to the west suburbs passing all of the UNFORTUNATOS headed up to the bridge.  UNTIL………………………………………………………………..someone goes down the right hand lane, all the way to the merge point and then puts their left turn signal on to nudge in…..BLOCKING THE ENTIRE RIGHT LANE FROM GETTING HOME!!!

WOW! The things ya see when you’re not driving your bulldozer!!!

If there was ever a need for one of those creepy, unshaven, talk-to-themselves, cigarette-filter-smoking dangerous-intersection flower salesman, it’s right here!!!  We could deputize him and have them write tickets every Monday thru Friday from 4pm-6pm and, there would be enough money to pay off the North Shore Connector in 2 years!

Hey “Red Solo Truck” driver (we think we used that one before but its  good one), first, nobody is supposed to drive a truck and have it THAT clean.  But wait, look at those sissy tires!  Who drives a truck with tires like that?  Did you borrow those from your wife’s 1978 VW Beetle???

I don’t care if you have a fructose-lactose-grease intolerance and you’re trying to rush home to a bathroom after eating your way thru the Peace, Love and Little Donuts, Klavon’s and Primanti’s in the Strip District, MOVE YOUR TRUCK!!  There’s more than one way to get home so take the open lane and get that zero-testosterone truck, out of my way Ya Jagoff!!!

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Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.

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