Well this is nuts! Here’s the summary of a pretty short story.
“A 39-year-old man calling himself “The Uniontown Ninja” assaulted a teenage boy who refused to make him a sandwich. More than a decade since the first “Uniontown Ninja” incidents, Justin Matthew Jellots supposedly was back at his old tricks.” Full story on DailyVoice.com
Dude… we didn’t even know that Ninjas ATE sandwiches. According to our Google search, Ninjas are supposed to eat: Millet, whole-grain rice, wheat, other grains, potatoes, mushrooms, mulberries, oleaster, chestnuts, sweet chestnuts, nutmeg, and pine nuts and/or Quail eggs.
In picturing this, we don’t picture our man, from Uniontown, in the traditional black Ninja attire. We see this guy in twenty-year-old jean shorts, JORTS, some kind of black and gold tshirt, and one of those custom leather jackets with all of the Super Bowl wins sewn into the back! Oh.. and some old Chuck Taylor shoes and, of course, a Terrible Towel as the bandana over his face!
Either way, Uniontown Ninja… good luck with your Ninja practices in jail. Hope you realized sandwiches aren’t all that important… not even if they are on a Mancini’s roll… YaJagoff!
