PETA has asked for Punxsutawney Phil’s retirement. They want a robot groundhog to be used. Look, we get it… some times animals are abused and PETA can help. But this one… just makes them look like they are the kid in elementary school who keeps fake sniffling because he wants attention!
It would appear, from many first-hand experiences that Phil is better kept than a cast member on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kept like this to work 1 day a year. So, we asked Phil what HE thinks of being retired and replaced with a computer. See original story on by Zach Brendza here.
Seriously… everyone makes fun of me.. But Look at My life!
I do this stuff for the food, the much-better-then-most-humans-get living conditions and the t-shirt royalties. All that I have to do is sit around and, come to think of it, I don’t even have to smile for any of the pictures.
I mean….everyone jokes about all of the bright lights and me seeing my shadow… I do this while some guy is Coddling me! It’s no biggie.. easy Pickins!
If I had any complaint at all, it would be that, When that guy grabs me underneath my belly and holds me up in the air in front of a bunch of crazy people and cameras, It’s like a scene out of Lion King re-produced by David Hasselhoff and Captain Morgan. that guy’s hand squishes my stomach up into my throat and it kind of causes me esophageal reflux problems in my older age. For a month after Groundhog Day, I eat nothing but Tums.
ONce things settle down, I just hang out for 364 more days. When I travel, they have a fantastic limousine Bus and a basket of fresh woodchips for me lay in.
One other thing while I’m letting on here, Gus, the old PA Lottery sleazy bookie HAs nearly ruined my life. He’s the guy that MAKES the rest of us serious ground hog actors look bad. He is schlock talent from the get-go and everyone knows it.
So.. bottom line, Thanks PETA for having my back but… please go find another ax to grind. All good here, Ya Jagoffs!
