Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?


More Useless Stoplights

Is there a town with more useless traffic lights than Coraopolis? I have written about this before.. a different intersection but the same town. I could write a new blog post on each of the town’s main intersections every day for 2 weeks.

According to the ever-knowing, all-seeing, all-wise, instigator of medical condition panic, killer-of-all-trivia games, “Google,:”

It costs the taxpayer $250,000 to $500,000 to purchase and install a traffic signal. Electric bills and routine maintenance amount to about $8,000 a year.

Stop sign: $511. Like many bills, labor costs quickly add to the overall cost. the sign itself is only $50, but a few extra parts, some equipment and a maintenance worker billed at $70 an hour and a general laborer billed at $55 an hour increase the expense.

Yeah.. a laborer increase the expense of a stop sign…..but it ain’t know $250,000.

Ok.. so you say, “Johnny… don’t get your tighty-whities all twisted so tight that you sound like a tenor in an all boy choir. The stoplights have been there for years! There would be a cost to tearing down all of the current traffic lights and installing stop signs.”

Nope… neighbors.. nope!!!!  To that I say…let’s have a “Tear the stupid stoplights down” party. Just like the old days when my grandparents, aunts and uncles would have wallpaper parties and invite people over to strip wallpaper off the walls of their house.

Stop for the visual of the “Tear the stupid stoplights down” party! Me.. jackhammer and hacksaw in hand running through the town of Coraopolis hacking away at traffic light posts yelling, like a modern day Jack Sparrow!

Damn…. that is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting!  I would do it for free. And think of the construction-dude abs and triceps I’d have after all that jackhammering!

OK, town of Coraopolis, I’m game! Are you? Your town wastes my car’s gas and my valuable beauty rest! Let’s get rid of these useless stoplights YaJagoffs!