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Product Jagoffs

Let Your Fingers Do The LITTERING

This is a picture of the “Yellow Pages” or “Super Pages” or Yellow Book” or “Super Yellow Duper Book” or whatever they call that thing people used to use to find phone numbers of companies they want to contact.  I’m actually not sure who the Jagoffs here are…. the people convincing companies that SOMEONE really reads thru this thing looking for their phone number in some highlighted two-color ad OR the companies who PURCHASE ads believing that SOMEONE actually really does read thru this thing looking for their company’s phone number.

Either way, these books are all over the ground in the neighborhood and, unless they make good mulch (they don’t), these books are about as useless as these other items:

1) Car Burglar Alarms – Nobody even looks when these go off anymore, they take pictures of the car and turn them into us as Jagoff posts.

2) House Phones – The only reason it’s still on the wall is because we have nothing else to plug into that goofy-shaped outlet.

3) My Popeil Pocket Fisherman – If any of you remember it, you know why it’s useless

4) My Battle Ship Game cuz I’ve lost most of the red pegs anyway and the aircraft carrier lost some pegs so it spins and people can cheat

5) An actual SCRABBLE game – everyone has the APP version.

6) That green fuzzy thing in the back, bottom of your refrigerator that you can’t identify – unless it’s a St. Patrick’s Day ZAGNUT bar!

7) A Trivial Pursuit game (unless you make a NO-SMART-PHONE rule)

Hey Super Pages… wondering if mine was actually the “white pages” but, because it sat so long before I stooped over to pic it up, the neighborhood dogs did a few leg-lift-performances on them and NOW they are “Yellow Pages!”  Have you not heard of things called “websites” and “google and yahoo” searches and, now in 2014 these things called “Face” books?????

I say, God bless ya for being able to “A.J. Richardson I don’t know where the calls for 911 are coming from” (my term for BS’ing) companies into purchasing ads and making a buck somehow.   But in my case, I’m REALLY glad the thing comes prepackaged in its own garbage bags, Ya Jagoffs!


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