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Celebrity Jagoffs

Justin Beiber’s REAL Crime

 

Who didn’t see THIS coming…. Justin Bieber in trouble.  (CNN Report)

Normally, this blog doesn’t post things that are unrelated to Pittsburgh.  But, as you can see above, our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators, found the real story.

The Biebs, or, as above, the Miley Cyrus doppelganger, was allegedly drinking and racing a car… not just a normal 19 year-old’s 1982, two-door-piece-of-#@$@… but a Lamborghini.  At 19 he yelled at the cops and then, with no shame, smiled for his mug shot.  But the real crime, as it turns out, Bieber was wearing a Cleveland Browns t-shirt when the police pulled him over!!!

No confirmation yet, but we hear that the Miami prosecutor hopes to move the venue for Bieber’s hearing to Pittsburgh for possible death-penalty considerations or, at least, long term imprisonment in an east Cleveland neighborhood after we tell the locals in the neighborhood that Bieber’s hero is Art Modell.

He Bieb’s… yeah, I feel comfortable calling you that cuz I think we might be buds… there’s no fun in watching a 19-year old kid implode, EXCEPT when that kid is a smart-mouthed-spoiled-take-advantage-of-everyone-cuz-my-mother-chose-sell-me-out-to-make-me-famous-and-make-her-rich-instead-of-teaching-me-manners-and-respect-by-spanking-my-ass-when-I-deserved-it, Ya Jagoff!!!!

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