Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?


Halloween Jagoffs #3 – One-Size-Fits-All Pull-On Costumes


Plastic molded masks with elastic string:
The eye holes were NEVER big enough. I had to push the mask up against the bottom of my chin to line up the eye holes so I could navigate the neighborhood steps. And when I did that, all the mouth-spit and condensation, that built up on the inside of my mask, smeared all over my face.  Then, it never failed, halfway through trick-or-treating, the stupid elastic string would BREAK right at that little staple on the side. Then my mom would try and tie the elastic string to itself IN THE DARK!

One-Size-Fits-All Pull-On Costumes:
The same costumes that came with those stupid plastic masks. You pulled them on over your legs, up over your body and tied a string behind your neck. The legs of these things were WAY too long so my mother rolled them up (cuz that’s what Batman REALLY looks like, right?) Every time my heels caught on the leg cuff walking up steps, I’d CHOKE myself!

Tomorrow’s blog post… Pittsburgh’s top sexiest Halloween costumes, Ya Jagoffs!