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Guest Blog Post From – The Pittsburgh Duck

Parody Name: “Ya Quackoff”
Follow me on Twitter @YaQuackoff

Hello Pittsburgh!!! (I just said that in my Boston-Journey-Poison-Foreigner-Cheap Trick-ZZ Top-BonJovi-patronize-the-local-crowd-concert voice).

By the time you read this, I will be a deflated pile of rubber yellowness hidden in a secret location.  (Hopefully Jack’s Bar in the South Side!)

I had a great time here!  The party on the bridge when I came in.  The Pirates making all kinds of craziness.  The Steelers turning things around!  By the way… Do ya know what sound a Steeler Fan 40-foot Rubber Duck makes when ya squeeze him with 9 seconds left in a game against the Baltimore Ratbirds?  Suisham!!!

To be fair, I couldn’t really see the game last night.  My back was turned. Plus, I don’t really have eyes!  See the pic from @SteelerKibb below. But I loved all of the crazy yelling.


Thanks for all of the pictures you took of me.  I noticed in some of them that my butt looked a little big so, before I come back, I’m going to have to do a little extra swimming.  My favorite pics were when people tried to make it look like they were kissing me…

I can’t get the Katey Perry song outta my head, “I kissed a duck and I liiiiiiiked it!”  Haaa now it’s stuck in YOUR head too!

I also like the pics of people pretending to feed me stuff.  Except for the the now-fired Cincinnati Reds Manager, Dusty Baker, who tried to feed me a plate of foie gras.. only AFTER he tried to talk a bunch of kids into beaning me with baseballs!

The other thing that I noticed from all of the pictures, like this one, is that I need to start parting my hair on the Left instead of the Right!


From @KatieB480 on Twitter

I like this pic too, of the kid doing the Duck Face taken by Leanne O’Brien.  It’s kinda Warhol-ian!! I dig it!


One of my favorite pics was from @MikeDarnay.. creating the Pittsburgh “Duck Dynasty.”  I kinda think me and Brett Keisel are doppelgangers, huh?


I’d like to come back and arm wrestle the Pirate Parrot, Steely McBeam and Iceburg for a Primanti Brothers Sandwich or some Pamela’s lyonnaise potatoes.  The only problem with THAT is, my wings are molded to my side so it wouldn’t be much of a competition I guess.

I would also like to come back to figure out what in the heck a Jumbo Sandwich is!

(Is this still in your head?  “I kissed a duck and I liiiiiiiked it!” )

Let’s clear up a few things..

No! I did not come here with underwater cameras implanted in me trying to secretly search for the missing B-25 Bomber in the Mon River.

No! I cannot stay and play on the Steelers Offensive Line… Mike Adams wouldn’t make a good stand-in for me either while I was over there playing.

No!  I don’t have ears…  sorry to reveal that after soooooo many of you have been yelling “Quack! Quack!” at me the past few weeks.

And let me give a QUACK-out to @Liz_G_Phillips who was an awesome Twitter-bud.  I never did get a chance hook up with her and her husband, John A. Phillips, and head up to the Elks Club for some Karaoke, one  of the nights after I got off work!

(“I kissed a duck and I liiiiiiiked it!”  Gotcha again!)

The Phillips Family

The Phillips Family

OK..time to get my warm bum outta this cold water…. it was starting to get a little irritating with all of the carp nipping at my butt.

I learned some Pittsburgh-ese while I was here.  I learned that,  The word Jagoff can be used in a few different ways.

1) Expressing love/appreciation to someone close to you, with a smile on your face and a hug, you say, “Ya Jagoff!”
2) Expressing being startled, half chuckling you say, “You scared the CRAP outta me, Ya Jagoff!”
3) And then there’s the version ranting about someone that has been a jerk, with a scowl on your face, “Ya Jagoff!”

So, referring to #1 above… thank you for welcoming me to Pittsburgh (and the United States)…. I had a great time.  I love yinz all, Ya Jagoffs!

 Goodbye Pittsburgh!  (I also said THAT in my Boston-Journey-Poison-Foreigner-Cheap Trick-ZZ Top-BonJovi-patronize-the-local-crowd-concert voice)

Also a QUACK-out to Sandy Stuhlfire for giving me my parody name.  She won a contest on this blog when I arrived.



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