Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

News People Jagoffs

Girl In Dog Cage On Turnpike

Once again… soooooo much Jagoffery and soooooo little blogging space.

This story has been all over the local news and has now hit the national news which, of course, means non-Pittsburghers are watching/reading this news story and thinking, “HOLEEEE CRAP those Pittsburghers are idiots!” And because of THAT, we had to post this here.

There are multiple reports of this story but our clear favorite is the one on KDKA-TV where Ross Guidotti actually speaks to the mother and stepfather involved. You can see the KDKA story HERE. (Go microwave some popcorn FIRST.. it’s worth it!)

Story synopsis:

  • Mother, Step-father, (Abby, Tom) 10-year old girl and dog are in a pick up truck on the PA Turnpike
  • The dog is in a crate, belted into the uncovered bed of the pick up truck.
  • Dog starts to yip and yipe (By the way, the stepfather’s imitation of the dog on the KDKA video is ITSELF worth a bag or two of popcorn!)
  • The 10-year old daughter decides she wants to ride with the dog to calm him down.
  • The parents, BOTH OF THEM, determine that this is a good idea and place the 10-year old daughter in the cage with the dog for the remainder of the ride to Millvale from Beaver County.
  • As you might suspect, the Girl-and-dog-in-a-crate-strapped-to-a-pick-up-truck-bed-driving-65mph-on-the-Turnpike routine gets a fair amount of attention from all the camera phones on the Turnpike at the same time.
  • Authorities are contacted and BOOM.. the parents are on KDKA-TV going, “Wuh? What’s the big deal? mean, we strapped the crate to the truck!”

So did the scenario go like this?

KID: “Hey mom and dad, I think that I can calm Scruffy down, let me ride back there with him. I can climb out of the window while we are driving, and do like a space walk kind of thing to back there and then get in the cage and calm him down!

ABBY/Tom: “There is no way we’re gonna let you do that. That’s INSANE and very dangerous! However, we’ll stop at the next rest stop and PUT you in the cage SAFELY. And by the way, that’s soooooooooooo unselfish of you to offer to take care of the dog while we sit in the cab of the truck, whadda ya say, when we get home, we all run around the house with knives in our hands and lollipops in our mouths? Oh, and also, if the truck happens to roll over in a strange accident, let’s do like the home fire drill…..after you and the dog dig yourselves out of the twisted cage, meet us at the front of the truck.”

This brings us to the age-old comparison…in order to kill a deer, you have to have a license to hunt and RENEW that license every year. In order to have a kid you need…..well,…. no license, no test, no NUTHIN!!!!

By the way, both Abby and Tom, are now facing felony counts of endangering the welfare of a child and are out on bail, according to the KDKA website.

Hey, as parents, most of us have made a few bad decisions… especially with the FIRST BORN. But I can’t believe that even ONE of us would have come to this decision, let alone, any random 2 of us conferring about it.

Abby, Tom….good luck with the criminal defense thing….in the meantime, please throw away that 1984 “How To Parent” book written by Ozzi Ozbourne and Frank Zappa, Ya Jagoffs!




Don’t Forget To Order Your Own T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

  • SinBinKreations
  • North Country Brewing