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Should the Gas Pump Sell Me a Car Wash?

Let’s get right to it. It’s cold and miserable out. You can see the evidence over the left shoulder of the gas tank! Snow, dismal-ness, slop, salt… everything but a dozen of birds waiting overhead waiting to drop a few bombs on my car paint!

And all I want is GAS but… noooooooooooooo… gotta STILL take what seems to be an S.A.T. exam to get the pump to work! But the question of a car wash on a day like today… when the gas station’s car wash isn’t even open???

BP.. you just had new, high-tech, gas pumps installed. So high-tech that, the minutes that I take the nozzle outta the holder, I look over my shoulder because I think it’s someone talking to me. Nope… so high tech that Jimmy Falllon or Jimmy Kimmel are doing monologues and….like the old Virgin Mary pic my gram had.. it looks like their eyes are looking right at me.

So… why can’t your new talk-to-me-know-when-someone’s-standing-there-at-the-gas-pump…. know when the weather looks like @#$@%@ or is too cold for me to stand their and answer unnecessary questions? Better yet… why can’t your new
talk-to-me-know-when-someone’s-standing-there-at-the-gas-pump know that your own car wash isn’t even open…. YaJagoffs?

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