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DAILY JAGOFF BLAWG

Contact Tracing…Dairy Queen Icing

Need an example of a contact tracing jagoff? How about the blue icing from Dairy Queen ice cream cakes?

Contact Tracing Example Jagoff
  1. Gotta looooove the Dairy Queen ice cream cakes!
  2. Gotta double-love the chocolate crunch middle of the Dairy Queen ice cream cakes!
  3. Even gotta love the overall icing on the cake and how it mixes on your palate with the ice cream and the crunchy middle.

But…what are they using for the decorative icing.. the spot of color.. that seems like it’s made with some kind of NASA-level-oily-paint?  Don’t get me wrong. It tastes good to but the stuff clings on to everything.

The Rennebecks had a DQ cake in their freezer, leftover from a b-day party. I tried to serve myself a piece of said cake one day for breakfast. Seemed like a good idea at the time. But needless to say, the blue icing was the evidence of my crime. I realized some of it was on my finger, then I realized some of it was on the table, then it got on my shirt and THEN, when I saw Rachael in her kitchen wiping off the counter, where I cut the cake, I knew I was caught!  Thankfully, I got to the inside of the freezer to wipe off THAT little smear, from when I put the cake back, before she saw it!

CONSPIRACY THEORY ALERT! Bottom line, enjoy your DQ ice cream cake but, if you’re on any kind of a diet plan, be careful. DQ clearly has a covert work agreement with Weight Watchers and other diet plans to catch you if you sneak a piece.. contact tracing via their superspreader icing! It clinks to everything.

If you’re not a conspiracy theorist, you’re probably saying, “Hey John! No conspiracy here.. howzabout using a napkin to wipe the icing off your hand before you stuff the cake in your grocery hole, YaJagoff!”

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