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News People Jagoffs

Chest Hair on the News?

Wearing a sapphire silkish button down shirt is just odd. Period. Unless there is some Night at the Roxbury, Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan look-a-like cast call, that type of shirt is a no-no. It is the female fashion faux pas consisting of a gold lamay cocktail dress worn before 7 p.m.

A few other details that add to the ridiculousness of this disturbing visual:

  • Tufts of hair is sticking out
  • This man is an attorney
  • This man called a press conference, therefore was NOT caught off guard wearing this

So, we thought an ode to Dr. Suess’ Cat In The Hat was necessary to advise this cat to stop wearing this top!

You shouldn’t wear that before dusk, you should not wear it on a bus. You should not wear it if you are sad, and especially if you are feeling rad. You would not wear it to a church, or office cube, or if in a lurch. You should not wear that fashion no no even if just stopping at the GetGo. You should not think that it looks nice, not morning, not noon and not even night. So please just stop, Mr. Business man, not with a chain or a golden tan. Just a cotton button down will do, with maybe a pin stripe or two. Perhaps a polo or golf shirt is less dressy, but that shirt is sure to get wrinkled and messy. You should not wear it, just continue to shop, come on man don’t be a jagoff!