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All Parking Is Legal, As Long As You Put Your 4-ways On!

Rachael Rennebeck

Just in case you don’t know, this is downtown Pittsburgh during rush hour.  The lane where the cars are parked are SUPPOSED to be used to help everyone ESCAPE from work at the end of the day.

Here’s part of the email we received with the photo:

I took two of them last night at around 6:00pm on my way home from work (and yes, I did park legally and responsibly before I took the hike over to take these pics)…There are signs about every twenty yards that clearly state “No Parking or Stopping.”

Ya know, we were totally against the 25-cents per 7-minute parking meters downtown BUT this might be THEEE PERFECT place for $1.25 per 7-minute parking meters!!  The City could probably erase their budget deficit in 6 months by having a cop stand along here, every day, handing out $100 parking tickets.

But wait!  Here are even BETTER ways to bring in revenue.  If you’ve been to the Kennywood Amusement Park, in between stops for Potato Patch Cheesey Fries and a Corn Dog, you probably rode the Raging Rapid ride, and you’re gonna love this!

We say make a downtown amusement ride out of this situation.

SOLUTION:

Allow people to rent junky cars that, during rush hour, would be allowed to purposely bounce into the cars that are illegally parked in the curb lane… just like the Raging Rapid boats.  Then, when the parked drivers get out of their car to yell and make a fuss about being hit, there are people who’ve paid to be up on that yellow bridge with water balloons and water guns, no wait, WATER CANNONS,  that soak the HELL out of these illegally parked drivers!  Who WOULDN’T pay to do that!

Hey, Curbies, we realize that you probably have VIPs-to-pick-up-that-can’t-walk-to-the-next-corner-Or-that-can’t-get-their-hair-wet-Or-have-empty-bowls-from-the-Friday-LETSGOPENS-party-Or-have-leftover-birthday-cake-in-a-flimsy-box THEREFORE making you believe that you are special and SHOULD be permitted to sit in this lane, cuz you have your flashers on, BUT…….

The rest of the people want to get home, so find a new pick-up spot, Ya Jagoffs!!!!

Thanks to Facebook follower Chip Reich for being our Jagoff Catcher of today’s post!  Keep those Jagoff pics coming in!!

 

Don’t forget to get your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” cellphone skin from the folks at CellPig

(The only place in the world that has them.)

Click on the photo below to see all of ‘em!

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Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.

7 thoughts on “All Parking Is Legal, As Long As You Put Your 4-ways On!”

  1. Haha. I know for a FACT that the delivery driver from my restaurant parks there almost every day to make deliveries to the tower. Can’t stop him though. He wont listen.

  2. “Allow people to rent junky cars that, during rush hour, would be allowed to purposely bounce into the cars that are illegally parked in the curb lane… just like the Raging Rapid boats. Then, when the parked drivers get out of their car to yell and make a fuss about being hit, there are people who’ve paid to be up on that yellow bridge with water balloons and water guns, no wait, WATER CANNONS, that soak the HELL out of these illegally parked drivers! Who WOULDN’T pay to do that!”

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE… sign me up! Do I get to wear a helmet?

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