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Parents That Are Jagoffs

Ahhh..They Keys Were In The Car (Causing the GOOD BOY To Steal It)

Bunches of people tweeted, Facebooked, e-mailed, snail-mailed, texted, instant messaged, UPS’ed, FedEx’ed, smoke signaled and called through a string-and-can system to bring this story to our attention.  It couldn’t be anymore classic of a story for this blog.

Just in case you were out of town like we were or had your head “where the good Lord CRACKED you” here’s the brief synopsis.

14-year old sees unoccupied car with keys in it

Kid steals car (or thinks it’s just his to use thanks to Saint Pontiac, patron saint of automobiles)

Police chase car

Kid crashes car

Mother tells news reporters, it’s partly the car owner’s fault for leaving the keys in the car

Full story on

Mom goes on to say that the police should have never chased her son as he took his little ride.  She says he might have just been going for a “joy ride!”  The one thing missing from the story was the infamous quote about how the suspect REALLY IS a “good boy!”

When we read this story, we picked up the phone, called our parents and thanked them PROFUSELY for spanking us when we were younger!!!!  We then called our 7th and 8th grade nuns and thanked them for pulling/twisting the short-hairs on the back of our neck every time we acted like.. well.. you..know.

So if ya see keys in a car THAT IS NOT YOURS it’s should be ok to take it?  What happens if ya see an unlocked front door on a house, is it O.K. to enter it, turn on the cable, pop some microwave popcorn and put your feet up, enjoy a little TV and consider the coin jar on the mantle a gift?

Oh wait, in that case, if the aisles and aisles of food in Giant Eagle are left unattended by the stock-boy, is it perfectly O.K. to grab a couple of steaks, take them to the “seasonal aisle” and set up an unattended grill with an unattended bag of charcoal briquettes and lighter fluid, cook the steaks and eat them with an unattended bag of chips for a free dinner?

Mom, we were going to suggest taking your son to church or some other nonprofit group for a little repentance.  But we’re a little concerned that, when they pass the collection basket, you’ll say, “Well, they shouldn’t have passed it in front of him and tempted him with it” after he grabs the basket and runs out of church with a couple of hands full of money, Ya Jagoff!!!


Lots of people to credit for this post but let’s give a shout out to Facebook Follower Mia Dentice in Georgia for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!



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