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Driving Jagoffs

Bumper Parking Anyone?

We are starting to get concerned again that readers will see us as chronic complainers.  We see ourselves as pointing out times when Pittsburghers could have been MORE THOUGHTFUL toward other Pittsburghers.  Like the driver of the van above.

Unless Mr. Pipecleaner parked the car on the right, we’re thinking the person in the white van needs to be reminded that those white painted thingies on the surface of the parking are more than just parallel line segments created by the local middle school kids on a recent “geometry-in-action” field trip. (As a geometry refresher, they would be called “rays” if they had arrows on one end.)

Seriously, are ya that inconsiderate or did ya let Stevie Wonder drive today?

As you’re looking at the picture above, you can use your thumb and pointer finger, in a pinching position, to measure the space between the two cars.  As a matter of fact, we’re pretty convinced that in real-life, you would have STILL been able to measure it with your fingers in pinching position.

What one MIGHT do in this situation is CONSIDER denting the van door with a hefty kick of the heel of a work boot.  But that would make YOU a jagoff too.  So here is our alternative: we would take a picture of the car as was done here.  We would email the photo to us THEN  we would leave a note on the van that says, “You are about to be famous on one of the coolest websites EVER,, and I’m gonna get a free t-shirt for submitting this.”

After that, Mr. Peter-Parker, we would sit back and have an icey drink on some bench accross the street and, when you came back to your van, WITH OUR THUMB AND POINTING FINGER STILL IN PINCHING POSITION, we would  pretend to squish your head over and over from many angles like we were in 4th grade.  Next time you’re trying to park, call ahead, we’ll put up the bumper railings like they do on kids bowling alleys, Ya Jagoff!


NOTE:  We’re contemplating a new TV show,  “Jagoff Rehab”  based on these Pittsburgh websites: Secret Agent L and Dignity And Respect

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