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Holiday Jagoffs

A “Labor Day” Post – From Labor Day Shopping

 

First, thanks to all that commented on yesterday’s blog update.  Once gain, we appreciate everyone following the blog!

Second, we participated in Labor Day Jagoffery by being one of “THOSE” people that didn’t know how to plan appropriately and had to go to the grocery store, in a panic, on the holiday!!!  (We clearly weren’t the only ones.)  In the old days, our moms made a grocery list every week, attached the coupons to the list with the same paper clip for 20 years, then shopped the same day/time 1 time per week.  She NEVER went in between.

Us… total jagoffery……..not only are we at the store on Labor Day, we had NO LIST, we had to text a pic back home of what we were looking at to be sure we were getting the right item aaaaaaaaannnnnd then received another text to get an extra item!!!!

But, we weren’t the biggest Labor Day jags!!!  See the pic above of the Shop n Save brownies were were taking home to put in their own tray to make it look like they were actually homemade.  If you look closely, you will see that the scanning label is on the TOP of the brownie container.  Guess what else is at the top of that container?????

If you guessed ICING you are correct.  Ya see, the bakers put icing on the brownies (because the brownies themselves do not have enough calories).  But that’s what we LOVE about ‘em.  But, guess where that icing is gonna go when we flip the container over to SCAN the bar code??  If you guessed ALL OVER THE TOP OF THE INSIDE OF THE CONTAINER you guessed correct again!!!

Well, we didn’t do the self-checkout.  We waited in line for the cashier’s scanning gun.  No icing loss.

In closing, thanks to all of those in the grocery store who were working because some of us didn’t inherit t the “shopping gene” from our parents.  In the meantime, hey Shop n Save “Put the scanning sticker on the baked goods” professionals, ya might want to rethink that process.  Ya might wanna also check out the handmade pizzas..those toppings might get a little lost going thru the scanner.  But if you’re having fun with price label tagging games, we suggest tagging all raw eggs INDIVIDUALLY so that shoppers would have to juggle them in the self checkout line.  We also suggest tagging all of the “pop” bottles with tags while they’re in a paint shaker machine, Ya Jagoffs!

Don’t for get to download the “You’re phone’s ringing ya jagoff!” ring tones.

Click the pic to sample/download them!

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St. Patrick’s Day Jagoffs!

Saturday we put a Facebook and Twitter call out for St. Patrick’s Day Jagoffs.  Our followers did not disappoint.  Above are two of the pics we received.

The top photo came all the way from Los Angeles and here’s the note that explains it:

This guys was challenging his friend to a leg wrestling match……at 715am.

7:15am, and he’s already on the floor challenging someone to leg wrestle which, sounds a lot like ANOTHER infamous drinking game, that SEEMS like good idea when you and your buddy are drunk, called, “Let’s see who can punch the hardest.“ THAT game usually ends with two best-buddies in the hospital getting stitches in their respective faces.  And if you wnt proof that this guy IS drunk this early, NOTE, he’s sitting on a bar floor that NO DOBUT has seen it’s fair share of errant natural and manufactured fluids and other substances!
Then we have a pic from outside Pittsburgh.  Here’s the note:
This man was WASTED outside of the Tilted Kilt last night at 6pm!!!!! The fire dept, EMS, and police were there with his drunk ARSE.
There ya go….. a nice, sunny day to relax on a bench but you drank soooo much that your body can support itself about as well as a rubber band standing on the Mt. Washington overlook deck in a 60mph wind gust. You’re so far drunk that the fire department and EMS had to come and babysit you while other people took your picture!!!!!  (We were nice enough to cover your face for two reasons, public drunkenness and, that fact that when you tell your wife the ambulance picked you up outside of Bettis’ Sports Bar, nobody can prove you were REALLY at the Tilted Kilt checking out scantily clad 21 year olds!)
St. Patty’s day, or is it St. Paddy’s Day????  Well, either way, it did not disappoint us for some entertainment and neither did our followers.
Hey Floor Boy, you MAY gave been wanting to leg-wrestle but let’s be more reasonable and say you were trying to do a horizontal version of River Dance!  And Bench Boy, well, it’s never a party until the Fire Department is called, right??
And to you both, what is it about St. Patty’s day that makes ya feel you’re a bottomless beer pit with a liver the size of Connecticut, Ya Jagoffs?
Thanks to these Honorary Jagoff Catchers, Bill H. of Cheap Shots Comedy Group for the L.A. hook-up and  “Julie” for the Pittsburgh pic. 
You can see some of our other Drunk Jagoff posts here.
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It’s MLK Day- Get Free Shipping! (Huh?)

sears martin luther king jr sale

Today we honor Dr. Martin Luther, Jr – a man strong in mind, heart and soul.   And how does Sears do it?  FREE SHIPPING SITE WIDE!!!  The good Dr. King.. how could he NOT be proud!

I have a dream that, the Al Gore internet will insure every man has a fridge, scarf, treadmill and, above ALL else, FREE SHIPPING!!

What will you do today?  Will you sleep in?  Will you head to the local mall or electronics store for a sale?  Will you head to Seven Springs for a long weekend of skiing (just like Dr. King would have) and imbibing at the Foggy Goggle or will you head to some place like the August Wilson Center to learn more, or teach your kids more, about WHY we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. today?  Be honest, how many of you actually knew if this was his day because it was his birthday or the day he was killed?  FYI, today is his birthday and it is seen as a day to promote equal rights for all Americans, regardless of their background.

Sure, you’ll be TEMPTED to relax today and catchup on DVR’d programs and DIY home projects.   If it’s above 40 degrees, a lot of you will spend 90-minutes in a car wash line to get the road salt residue off.

At least take a few minutes to talk about Dr. King and remember, this is NOT just a day to go get a discount on a new car, cheap linens at Sears, half off  a new washer/dryer, sleep in, do work on the house or get drunk.  (You’ve heard us say this before about Memorial Day.)

And for those of you NOT doing anything to reinforce WHY most of us have the day off today, for CRISSAKES, let’s at least say the whole name.  It’s not MLK Day, it’s Martin Luther King, Jr Day.  Yes!  It’s even more important than your daily Consol – (con-SAWL or CON-soool) argument.

And while it seems odd that we would call people names in HONOR of Dr. King’s memory (kind of like a stripper being shy about taking their clothes of at a Dr.’s office) we STILL have to do our thing.  If you’re spending your day off at the mall, tallying up discounts and making fun of someone different than you, you’re missing the whole reason behind why you have today off, Ya Jagoffs!

(This is the spot where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed April 4, 1968.  The small square of concrete still contains the blood stains.)

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Christmas In Crafton

I’ll bet we all have a neighbor that leaves their Christmas lights up just a little too long, right?  Maybe it was even you at one point.

I mean, how long  ya leave yer decorations up IS a social dillemma.   If ya take them down the day after Christmas, yer a grinch – a non-believer!  If ya leave them up after the end of January, yer lazy, an embarrassment to the rest of the posh neighbors.

HOWEVER, if it’s MARCH, and there have been MORE THAN A FEW of those ‘burgh-winter sunny days since January, and yer holiday decorations are still up, yer a …(wait, I have one more thing to say before the big finish).

Let me put it this way:

 The Hartwood Acres’ Project Bundle-up, 3.2 miles of Christmas lights – DOWN.

  The Overly’s Christmas 2.1 Million Christmas lights – DOWN

The Oglebay Resort 3-mile, 125-acre Festival of Lights – DOWN

So, Matt G of the Circle Inn in Crafton, do we need to come there for a CHRISTMAS DECORATION INTERVENTION? Howzabout, ya offer a coupla comp Iron City drafts to some of yer regular patrons and send them outside with some wrenches, screwdrivers, a hammer and a stepladder to take that sign down.  For CRISSAKES yer making the neighborhood look like West Virginia!  If ya don’t, we’re gonna gather up some Jagoff Catchers to come over and repaint that sign to say, “WE HATE THE STEELERS, SIDNEY CROSBY AND PUPPIES, “  Ya Jagoff!

Thanks to our Jagoff Catcher, Twitter follower @JTLeroyFan for the lead!!!

 

DISCLAIMER:  Neither our Jagoff Catcher nor Ya Jagoff  Admin supports actually defacing the Circle Inn.  If you do that, you’ll be a REAL JAGOFF.  However, if ya wanna show up there and nicely suggest that they take the sign down cuz ya saw them on www.YaJagoff.com, the address is: 34 East Crafton Avenue.

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