Holiday Jagoffs

It’s MLK Day- Get Free Shipping! (Huh?)

sears martin luther king jr sale

Today we honor Dr. Martin Luther, Jr – a man strong in mind, heart and soul.   And how do some retailers do it?  FREE SHIPPING SITE WIDE!!!  The good Dr. King.. how could he NOT be proud!

I have a dream that, the Al Gore internet will insure every man has a fridge, scarf, treadmill and, above ALL else, FREE SHIPPING!!

What will you do today?  Will you sleep in?  Will you head to the local mall or electronics store for a sale?  Will you head to Seven Springs for a long weekend of skiing (just like Dr. King would have) and imbibing at the Foggy Goggle or will you head to some place like the August Wilson Center to learn more, or teach your kids more, about WHY we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. today?

Sure, you’ll be TEMPTED to relax today and catchup on DVR’d programs and DIY home projects.   If it’s above 40 degrees, a lot of you will spend 90-minutes in a car wash line to get the road salt residue off.

At least take a few minutes to talk about Dr. King and remember, this is NOT just a day to go get a discount on a new car, cheap linens at Sears, half off  a new washer/dryer, sleep in, do work on the house or get drunk.  (You’ve heard us say this before about Memorial Day.)

And for those of you NOT doing anything to reinforce WHY most of us have the day off today, for CRISSAKES, let’s at least say the whole name.  It’s not MLK Day, it’s Martin Luther King, Jr Day.  Yes!  It’s even more important than your daily Consol – (con-SAWL or CON-soool) argument.

If you’re spending your day off at the mall, tallying up discounts and making fun of someone different than you, you’re missing the whole reason behind why you have today off, Ya Jagoffs!

(This is the spot where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed April 4, 1968.  The small square of concrete still contains the blood stains.)

Christmas Vehicle Decorations?


Sometimes the blog followers like to spout off… get something off of their chest. Today is one of those days about the people who decorate their vehicles for Christmas.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, ushers in two specific events.

The first is opening day for parents to blow every last dollar they’ve earned on gifts that will likely end up in the corner of a toy box or on Ebay.  The second is the signal for Gentiles everywhere to begin their displays of appreciation for the impending holiday season.

One day I saw the strangest thing…  I guess people started thinking it wasn’t Christmas unless their cars looked like a tree ornament. At first it was the Christmas wreath on the grill of the Dodge Caravan with the suburban mom in her tacky Christmas sweater behind the wheel. All too soon her decorations became just as tacky as her attire. Or how about the dreadful antlers on the roof and red nose on the grill?  You have to feel sorry for the poor deer who, thinking he finally landed a date for the evening, discovers he just mounted a Honda Civic!

Talk about a bunch of jagoffs…if you participate in this holiday ritual to your vehicles, guess what? You are a Christmas jagoff…

Do you agree or disagree?  Comment below.

Thanks to Kathleen Hopay from Nevada for the rant…we just saved her another month of high blood pressure medication.  Follow her on Twitter @Season4357.


Business Owner ANNOYED By Christmas Bell



Yep… you read that right!!  A business owner was annoyed by the Salvation Army bell ringing.

The Salvation Army was contacted today, after a business owner in the plaza complained that he was annoyed by the constant ringing of the brass bell by a Salvation Army volunteer in front of the nearby Big Lots Store.

See Full Story on KDKA Website

Really?  That’s like saying you’re annoyed by the radio stations that have already gone 100% Christmas Music Format.  Wait…. I’m annoyed by that so its not a good example.  But being offended by the Sally-bell ringing?

OK, I’ll give ya that fact that not all of their trumpet players are Louis Armstrong cadets but, even those people aren’t ANNOYING.  You just simply appreciate the fact that they are standing out in the cold trying to be that lucky bucket operator that someone sneaks up and drops a family heirloom diamond ring into.  You also simply appreciate that there’s no tongue or lip meat stuck to the trumpet mouthpiece when its REALLY cold out.  But ANNOYED?

Wouldn’t it be fun to take the “dinger” out of the bell, dress as zombie Sally-bell ringer and stand in front of this guy’s business window, shaking a non-ringing bell… while staring with a “Is THIS quiet enough for you?” wide-eyed look into his store!  And then maybe get a whole bunch of zombie Sally-bell ringers and do a silent hand-bell choir.  I guarantee he’ll be freaked out enough to donate AND ask for the bells to start again!

Hey Mr. Chairperson of the BITTER BUSINESS BUREAU.. (see how I did that there? Top shelf humor here), maybe instead of saying you were so ANNOYED by the bell volunteer-fundraising bell ringing and making them stop, you could have dropped $2,000 into the bucket and said, “ok.. you’re good for a couple of hours… come on inside, take the load off of your feet, take your coat off, warm up and have a cup of coffee,” Ya Jagoff!!!!!


Thanks to @douglasderda for forwarding this story over and being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!  Much appreciated.