Driving Jagoffs

Is This Car Yoga?

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This came to us from our Facebook page.

By the way, you can always feel free to submit photos to us via our website at this link.

Talk about a relaxing drive … is this one of those new La-Z-Boy luxury vehicles?

Someone on Facebook asked, “How is this even possible?”  However, the question is, what is actually happening here?  Is this a haircut and blow-dry situation?  If the driver was barefoot, I’d say maybe they were trying to see a splinter or a thorn in the bottom of their foot.

Currently, our SJU (Special Jagoffs Unit) is investigating the Sewickley area, kind of the area where this photo was taken, to see if there are any new Drive Thru Toe Wash businesses and, if so, what the hot wax option gets ya.

All that I know is, if there’s a head on crash, the driver’s ankle AND knee are going to be in their ear.. which makes for an odd thing to use the Jaws of Life on.

Hey Amy-ankle….remember, the announcements at the Tunderbolt?  “Keep your arms and legs BEHIND the yellow line and INSIDE THE CAR at all times, Ya Jagoff!

 

Thanks to Robert Judge‎ for passing this pic along and being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

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The Parking Lot “Scatter Drill”

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You’ve been there… after a hockey game, after a Steelers game, Pitt Game, Pirates game and even after church!

ESPECIALLY church!!  All of those nice, sweet ol’ people that just said an hour of prayers… they get in their cars and become CRAZEEEEEEEEE Jagoffs as they try to beat each other to the last open table for post-church brunch at Eat n Park !

And after a big sports event.. everyone thinks they have the “special short cut” that allows them to get 2 cars FURTHER AHEAD than if they would have simply gotten in the line, like everyone else, as they pulled out of their parking spot.  Nope.. they have to zig-zag between cars and and make their OWN lanes!!!

Of course, sometimes there IS that driver that FORCES other drivers to make their own lane as they sit and sit and sit and sit….. while they let, what seems to be, the entire Steelers Fan Base in front of them because they are afraid to edge their car forward!

This ain’t Kennywood BUMPER CARS!  Some of you probably STILL don’t know how to back up… (HINT: it’s NOT by turning the steering wheel all the way to the RIGHT!)

Anyone ever heard of patience… taking your turn… or COURTESY, Ya Jagoffs??????

Thanks to @brookePGH from Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!

 

The New BMW Construction Vehicle

 (Travel has me tied up so recycling this post. It’ still relevant.)

The above photo (minus our Jagoff-astrator notations) came to us with this caption:

Who needs a truck #jagoff ?

Haaaa… (sniff)… haaa.. that’s kind of it, RIGHT?   This is another one of those “Damn-it-I-wish-I-had-gotten-the-SUV-or-Pickup” posts. (See the previous hot-tub post here)

The first thing I thought of when I saw this pic was, “Boy that DYI Channel sure is bringing out the handyman in everyone!!”  I can just see this guy.. he gets up in the morning, goes to the spa, runs to Starbucks for a cappuccino-carmel-double-shot-of-vanilla-with-a-whole-lotta-other-crappa-lotta, has a cup of yogurt and says, “Honey, I’m gonna go put in a french drain today!!  But before I stop and get the pipe, I have to stop at Macy’s to get a flannel shirt and a pair of those work jeans, the kind that have the tool-holding-hooky-thingies on the hip.”

As an FYI, I am absolutely HORRIBLE at home repair products.  Like, if you were calling a list of people to help you with a home repair project, I would be on the list BELOW your drunken Uncle Stush who will only come over if your fridge is full of Iron City cans.

So back to the BMW…. I wondered if this was a special option for BEAMER drivers who like to smoke but don’t want the second hand smoke to blow toward their kids in the back seat.  Then I thought, maybe this is a FANTASTIC new church-pipe-organ-entertainment-center option.

But NOPE!  It is what it is.. a BEAMER hauling stuff.

And to “Steely McBeamer” (that was crafty, huh?) if ya have enough $$ to purchase that nice car, don’t ya have $19.95 to rent the Home Depot truck for an hour OR hire the “We Haul Anything Including Your Sleeping Mother-in-Law” people from the Pennysaver or Craig’s List, Ya Jagoff?

 

Thanks to our Virginia-based Twitter Follower and Honorary Jagoff Catcher Lowell Murray.

 

Don’t Forget!

You can get FREE “Jagoff” ring tones and phone screensaver.

Click the pic and see how to download it for free!