Driving Jagoffs

The Perpendicular Pumper




Really?  There’s not some common sense thing that tells you you should pull parallel to the fuel pumps vs. perpendicular?

Here’s the message that was on the Instagram photo from the Monroeville GetGo:

I think I’m just gonna stay in today. Too many morons are out.

Lady, I’ve struggled with math, algebra and geometry a little myself…

Which one of these hickey-ma-jiggers, < >, is greater than?  Is it the one that OPENS to the larger number or the one that POINTS to the larger number?

If the Mon Incline leaves the station at 10:02 am and has 9 passengers on it and travels at 5 mph on a chain, solve for x which = the number of passengers that have tried to walk down the side of Mount Washington.

Horizontal vs Vertical  (Hint: Vertical blinds go across your window which means they should be HORIZONTAL BLINDS but we call them vertical because engineers are the same jagoffs that got A’s in your math class)

But YOUR struggle seems a little worse my Monroeville Petro Maden.

Here’s to hoping you get the parallel vs. perpendicular thingy figured out before you try to “Perpendicular Park,” Ya Jagoff.


Thanks to Tim O’Ghoul on Instgram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Cop Calls Tailgater a Jagoff

This is a video of cyclist Kevin Salagea in Skokie, Illinois being tailgated. Cop sees it and pulls over the tailgater. If you want to Fast Forward, go to 1:32 and watch the cop get out of the car.


The One-Armed Mattress Delivery Guys



Have ya ever heard of the “one-armed wall-paper hanger?”  Me thinks he went out and bought himself a new box spring.

Or is it that, “Two Men and A Truck“ delivery  now has a 1/2-priced competitor, “1 Man And A Sedan?”   But thank GAWD they are following the OSHA protocol for delivering a mattress or box spring… holding it with one arm while driving across a bridge!

I mean, not even Sid Crosby’s forearms could hold that thing if it flips or slides and he’s been squeezing tennis balls for forearm exercises since he was 6 months old.

Is this driver an octopus that is also holding a cigarette, cell phone, eating a donut and holding a coffee that also has a yip-yip dog on his lap?

Is this driver one of the retired X-men, Bungee Cord man?

C’mon sedan man Stan, everyone in Pittsburgh has at least one “friend with a truck.”

But just a quick question…. inside that car, are you driving while sitting on a night stand?

Get on the internet and find a truck, Ya Jagoff!


Thanks to @DaStayHomeMomma for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.  Great pic.