Driving Jagoffs

A Friday Jagoff Driver Two-fer!

Yeah! A Two-fer special from our bud Jackie.

Two Block-blockers in two weeks. Seems she should get a prize for this but, we’re cheaper than your Uncle Stush who used to scotch-tape  a dollar’s worth of nickles to the inside of your birthday card up until your 13th birthday.

The tweet with the top pic was:

Is this real life

And the intersection tweet was:

This is what we call a and a

Are we on the Kennywood Bumper cars?   Is the guy in the top pic a 6-year old that doesn’t realize that, if you turn the wheel the entire way to the left or right the car goes into reverse?  Is the car in the second pic a 14-year old boy friend/girl friend couple in matching sailor hats with their names on them where the male is trying to look “Doe” low-riding and just wants to sit there and get hit to see his girlfriend freak out?

Nope!  These are just people who believe THEIR life is more important than everyone else who’s on the road.  Because, as you know, sitting through the next red light makes a difference in you getting to the office 98-seconds faster than if you would have sat through the light!

I go back to the the original thought.  If we had cops at these intersections, we could fund the City’s debt and pay off both stadiums and the Consol Energy Center.

Seriously though, are you  the same people that stand in that critical space at the grocery store, the space between the end of the aisle and the cashiers, talking to your friends?  Are you all middle-children-syndrome people looking for attention?

Get outta the way Ya Jagoffs!!!

Huuuuuuge thanks to Jackie Schafer of WTAE for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Follow Jackie on Twitter @Jackie_Schafer

Those Highway “Merge Point” Signs

YJ-MergePoint

For some reason, our personal competitiveness seeps in to a simple drive.

We don’t want that car next to us to pass us so we speed up to make sure that it doesn’t.

We have to pass the driver in front of us despite the fact that we have to turn right at the very next turn and will have to cut him/her off to do it.

And, the Merge Point!

For some reason, many drivers cannot seem to figure out  the fact that losing that promotion at work, losing an argument to your significant other or watching police speed-trap videos on YouTube should not translate to driving… especially while approaching a construction zone.

This from one of our followers:

Dear 22/30 drivers: when you see this sign and you ALL choose to line up in one lane leaving the other lane TOTALLY open, don’t get mad at me because I’ve read the signs (yes, plural…there were several of them in just that one mile stretch that I was actually on) and continue to drive in the OPEN lane.  READ THE SIGNS…They are there to help keep traffic moving. Stacking up for miles and then trying to block traffic at the merge point only SLOWS traffic down…”

Haaaaaaa (a little bit of giggle pee trickle)….. love it when I don’t have to write an entire blog post!  Nice work! And even more, a Twitter-er-er tweeted the same situation and, writes the ending of this post quite nicely….

“It happened again today! Can people not read signs!? Move out of the effing middle of the road”

Let me make one correction on that:

“It happened again today! Can people not read signs!? Move out of the effing middle of the road, YA JAGOFFS!!”

Or should I say, earn-lay ow-hay o-tay ead-ray, A-ya, Agoffs-jay!!!

Thanks to Drew P from Facebook and @christielee008 from Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers for today’s blog!

 

Motorcycle Jagoff

 

Ok, before ya call me an anti-motorcycle Jagoff, here are a few things:

1) I don’t do motorcycles (too many days in EMS scraping riders up off the pavement) but I am not like an ex-smoker that berates ya if you have one

2) I do believe in helmets, (too many days in EMS scraping riders up off the pavement) but its your choice not mine

3) I do believe that there are a lot of Jagoff riders out there but there are just as many car driving jagoffs that don’t know how to function when they see a motorcycle in traffic

Now, if you’re in a car on your cell phone, and you start talking with your hands or reach over to put your turn signal on, you can steer with your knees! Not sure WHAT ya do on a motorcycle in this instance.  All that I know is, this guy’s about as UNPROTECTED as Charlie Sheen in a roomful of hookers with oozing sores.

So Mr. Motorcycle guy, before ya get yourself into one of those “Slide-your-motorcycle-under-another-the-front-of-a-car-Get-full-body-length-road-rash-and-Come-close-to-separating-your-head-from-the-rest-of-your-body-Scaring-the-@$$@#-out-of-other-drivers” accidents, HANG UP THAT PHONE!  Winning Lady Gaga tickets from the radio station isn’t THAT important,  YA JAGOFF!!!!