Welcome to our regular Saturday feature “What Aggravates Me”
As most of you already know, I’ve been nominated as the Candidate to represent the Jagoff Party in the upcoming election. If you don’t know that, where have you been? Anyway, it’s been pointed out to me that I’m going to need a running mate. That’s where you come in. I’m here to announce the “Jagoff Party Vice-President Candidate” contest.
Yes, I know we should already have somebody in place. The reason is, we were late getting into the race to begin with. That was our strategy. It gave me less time to say or do anything stupid. You know, like the other two have done on a consistent basis. The trail of dirty money leading up to Hillary keeps getting longer and Trump…actually he hasn’t said anything crazy this week. They may have finally figured out the right combination of meds to control him. But that won’t last. Most of the people in this country are disgusted with the two candidates they have to choose from. That’s where we come in.
If you think this late start is going to hurt us, just look at the Penguins. In December of last year they wouldn’t have even made the playoffs and look where they ended up. We’re going to win this thing, but I need your help.
Do you think you have what it takes to be a Jagoff Vice-President? Before you submit your entry, read the following qualifications, to see if you apply.
- Must be a natural born citizen of the U.S.
- Haven’t been arrested since, oh let’s say not after Memorial Day.
- No PED’s
- You weren’t all over the news this past week for trying to leap from one building to another.
- You are not now or have ever been a fan of the Cleveland Browns.
If you qualify and would like to enter, send an email to John@YaJagoff.com. In the subject put, “Jagoff Vice-President Contest.” Tell us why you think you would make a good Jagoff VP. Entries must be in by September 21. That’s the last day of summer, which sucks because it means winter’s coming. Don’t worry about it. Come January we’ll be taking our parking chairs to the White House! Winner will be announced here on September 24.
Now, you’re probably asking yourself,
“What’s in this for me?”
First of all the winner will be a guest on an upcoming “YaJagoff” Podcast. You will also get to tape a video with me, John Knight, the “Jagoff Party Presidential Candidate.” I know, that sounds more like a type of punishment than winning, but there are going to be prizes. Prizes worth tens of dollars! Actually we will have good prizes that will be listed on this site in the coming days and weeks. I just want to see how many applicants we get before we announce the prizes. Then we can see who’s only in it for the money. Which, I guess, would make you just like any other politician.
So enter as many times as you like and come November 2, vote for me as many times as you like.
Follow John on Twitter @jknight841