Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Guest Blog

April Fool’s Day Guest Blog – Jagoffs in the City

Today’s post is part of a special day of shenanigans from Pittsburgh Bloggers.  The blog below comes from Sandra Kozera of the  Orange Chair Blog, You can see my April Fool’s guest blog about insult words, here.

I have commuted to work downtown off and on since 2003 (when the nicest/only restaurant in the city was the Fish Market, and before we had the Anthrocon in town to entertain us during the summer).  One encounters a fair amount of jagoffs in the city during the work day.

Highway Traffic. I come in from the north, so I often take the Fort Pitt Bridge to get into the city.  It’s terrifying and everyone is awful.

Koze1

It’s hard to blame them.

Pedestrians. So look.  You can’t wander across the street with your back to oncoming traffic and not look where you are going.  You shouldn’t walk three abreast on the sidewalk.  That sign about how the sidewalk is closed means you should cross on the other side, not walk in the middle of the street.  I know that the newest Pittsburgh Renaissance is pretty recent, but it turns out that there are actually people driving in the city.

The Intersection of Liberty Avenue and Sixth Street. 

koze2

The map is not accurate because, if you are headed south on Sixth Street and you wish to stay straight across Liberty, you actually have to go to the right on Liberty a bit, then turn slightly to the left, and then you can continue straight on Sixth.  If you are headed north on Sixth Street, and you wish to turn left on to Liberty, you have to turn, drive a bit, and then yield to the pedestrians that appear to be jaywalking but are actually crossing in the crosswalk.

koze3

Who designed this intersection?  It’s a scourge on humanity.

People Going to the Consol.  My friend lives across the street from the Consol, which she advises is lovely unless there is an event.  She suggests that for the safety of everyone it is important to remember that the rules of the road still apply in downtown Pittsburgh, and that people should not:

  1. Drop off passengers in the middle of traffic
  2. Make a left turn out of the middle non turning lane and then stop in the middle of the intersection
  3. Forget all traffic laws.

Sage advice!

People who Order More than One Drink at Starbucks.  I need my coffee.  Come back at 10:30 with your orders for the whole floor and your five different methods of payment.

People in the Elevator.  I work on the 10th floor, and our elevator bank serves floors 1-11.  People in the lower floors are always getting in our elevator and going to floors that are lower than my floor.  I hate these people with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns.  Take the stairs!

Me, certainly.  I’m a terrible city commuter jagoff.  I am pretty sure I do all these things (except the elevator thing, because I’m not a monster).  It’s easy to be a jagoff in the city.

Koze4

Special Feature: Not a Jagoff in the City

Here are the top two things in the city that are not jagoffs.

On the Bus.  Whenever someone in a wheelchair gets on the bus and everyone in the front of the bus gets up and helps with raising the bus seats so that the person in the wheelchair can use that spot.  I’ve never not seen this happen and it’s amazing.

Street Tacos.  A welcome addition to the city landscape.

koze5

Below are the names and links to all the participating blogs (44 in total). 

Harvest + Bloom // Yes, Wear That! // jelly jars // Glam and Graffiti // To The Streets // In Pursuit // Pittsburgh & Pearls // Beezus Kiddo // Goodness Madness // Last Minute Panic // Steel City Intrigue // Crank Crank Revolution // Amanda Narcisi // Pittsburgh is Beautiful // From Cats to Cooking // Yum Yum PGH // Breelicious Bites // Parmesan Princess // Coffee & A Blonde // The Steel Trap // Wavy Alabaster // everybody loves you… // Eat with Emily // Don’t Forget to Eat // Sloping in the Sky // From Farm to Turntable // Secrets in the Wall // Red Pen Mama // Feedback Soup // The AP Collection // Blog Or Die PGH // Pittsburgh Happy Hour // Friendly Fitness Foodie // Small Town Dad // Josh’s World // Geeky Sweetie // Sean’s Ramblings // Lunges, Long Runs and Lattes // Try it and You May! // lil Burghers // Orange Chair Blog // Ya Jagoff // Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents // Melissa Firman

  • SinBinKreations
  • dryer vent Wizard