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Travel Jagoffs

Hey!! Do You Have A Listening Problem??

Traveling by airplane is just no fun any more. Lotsa games like:

Playing the baggage check-or-no-check game with the ramp attendant.

Playing the waiting game to see if a flight crew member is going to snap BEFORE you turn your phone off so that you can be famous in Twitter.

Waiting for the person in the security line who, despite knowing they were getting on an airplane, chose to wear 3 fashion belts, 14 metal bracelets on the left wrist and watches for 3 different time zones on the right wrist and shin-high laced boots.

Despite all of the new rules, SOME rules have been in place since before USAirways sold Allegheny County down the river and went to Philly and Charlotte.

One long standing rule: All electronic devices get turned off for take-off. Who doesn’t know that yet? (If we see a hand pop up we’re going to smack it!)

Another long standing rule, for some crazy reason, on take-off and landing your seat has to be upright.

So why did subject #1  have to be told 3 times to turn her music device off? One as we where driving, taxi-ing, to the runway.  Does she REALLY not know the routine?

And why does subject #2 have to be told 3 times to put his seat-back in the upright position? And why act like you have two brain cells by saying, “huh?” when reminded the 3rd time?

Whether or not these rules make sense is not for us to decide. The fact is, the rules are the rules and, take-off time is not the time to perform your silly little protest by acting like you’re brain dead or like a spoiled brat.  That just ticks off the flight attendants to the point that they want to wail the peanuts at the rest of us.

Go ahead, put those preflight songs on and feel free to relax your head in the reclining position (a whole 2 inches) before takeoff.

But don’t expect the flight attendant to be like your mommy and give you multiple warnings (I’m gonna count to 10 and you better listen..) before you have to follow the rules like everyone else (8….9….9 and a half, 9 and three quarters…)

If this is the way flying continues to progress, we totally support the flight attendants’ being given the authority to perform Sister-Mary-Mengela-type-Back-of-the-neck-hair-twists-And-earlobe-pulls-Or-Back-of-the-skull-open-handed-slaps to make people, like you, follow the rules Ya Jagoffs!!!


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