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Breaking Bad News: Crosby Arrested, Cosby Dead and Bing Crosby Resuscitated

 

So do ya think that someone’s gonna lose their intern job at the over-night “death and destruction squad” news desk shift at the Ottawa Sun?  Not only did this get reported to someone but it got vetted (despite not actually happening) then it go posted and tweeted at 3:40am.

In case you can’t read the fine print and haven’t heard the story yet.  Sidney Crosby was reported to have been arrested and detained by the Ottawa police because of a traffic violation in a rented Porsche.  It even said that he had been fingerprinted and mugshotted (not sure that’s actually a word.) See story from KDKA-TV cuz it’s certainly not on the Ottawa Sun page anymore!

Eventually the Ottawa Police Chief confirmed with a statement and a tweet that his department had no interaction with Crosby, at which point, I’m fairly certain that the over-night news desk chump experienced horrible stomach and intestinal cramping knowing, full well, that they were about to become an unemployed news desk chump due to lack of integrity OR a highly-paid sports writer in Philadelphia!

As an aside, the worst thing about this story is that I didn’t even hear about it until I heard Bill Rehkopf and Ken Rice talking about this on the news.. BTW.. that’s the afternoon drive time news!  Was I under a rock all day? Jeeezus! I have to stop getting so engrossed in those DVR’d Today Shows about the Duggars. I can kill an entire day with those!

To close this out, the Ottawa Sun posted a note, of course, apologizing.  And the over-night news desk chump, was seen at the local Gasteroenterologist for uncontrollable intestinal discomfort. (The reported name of said G.I. physician, Dr. Lou Stool) <—– did that all by myself!

So to the over-night-I-can’t-wait-to-get-a-real-news-job-so-I’m-gonna-fast-track-myself-to-fame-on-this-story, good luck with your next job as an over-night burrito and gasoline maitre d’ at your local convenience store.  The weird thing is, everyone jokes about “If I saw it on the internet, it MUST be true.” You’ve changed the rules….”If I PUT it on the internet, it MUST be true!

Sorry that you’ll be unemployed but thanks for the blog material, Ya Jagoff!

 

Read another good article about this on the PensInitiative.com 

The winner of the 2 tickets to “The Chair” Exclusive Premiere Party tonight at 7pm is @AbbyDinges.

@AbbyDinges email us at yajagoff (at) comcast (dot) net for details.

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