I carry my laptop bag as a handbag every day and have reached in and found the following at any given time:
My daughter’s polka—dot Justice socks (worn), Domenic‘s orthodontist excuse which was supposed to get him back into school, a coveted orange hockey ball because Roman says it is a more weather–resistant one, a small insulating tool that my husband asked me to hold. Last week I even pulled out John’s “car hat” that we travel with in case we have to do a quick jagging around video. You never know what Pittsburgher you will run into during the course of a day.
I can assure you that I would be a very good candidate for Let’s Make A Deal. I can also assure you that you will never find a baby squirrel in my bag. A woman who clearly was troubled since Meth was also found in her bag, was in the news for keeping a baby squirrel in her bag. See WPXI.com.
Never would I make eye contact with a rodent let alone allow it to rest easy good fella in my bag. Yes, during a random traffic stop, the woman told officers her son found the squirrel as he was working at his tree trimming job. Did I mention there was also a doppler of baby formula?
Again, no judgment zone here. Empty your pockets and find way more than spare change, handbags certainly hold more than old snot rags, but a baby squirrel? This was in Oklahoma, so I would like to think Pittsburgh rodents would not comply. So please do not think about trying to adopt a Pittsburgh pigeon in your handbag, Ya Jagoff!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
