For a previous post on bad car dealer customer service, click here. But today’s is another goodie.
This is kind of like a guest blog, cuz one of our followers pretty much wrote the whole thing.
For those of you who don’t know, Parkvale Bank was recently taken over by First National Bank. The process of working with and gaining the trust of all the old Parkvale customers is going just GREAT (cue sarcastic eye).
For example, if you try to access your account online, you can only see your account history since FNB took over—basically ALMOST a month (real helpful if you’re a day trader but I’m not).
When FNB took over in the middle of February, they promoted kit glove Customer Service for those ex-Parkvale patriots that were attempting to access their accounts on line for the first time. Well, here’s how their Noble-Peace-Prize-level of customer service works.
If you call the “Customer Service” number listed on their website, you will get a recording of something along these lines.
“Sorry but we are experiencing a high call volume. We will not be taking messages at this time. Thank you. GOODBYE.”
Goodbye???????????????????????? Come on, not even a “press 2 for Spanish?” Just a simple Adios Amigos. (Oh wait, they DID say Thank You before saying goodbye and hanging up on me.)
So FNB, since you’re kind of in the “numbers” and “math” business, do you think you could have worked a little harder on the X-divided-by-Y-multiplied-by-n-(the number of Parkvale customers) minus zero (the number zero representing the number of customers that might NOT call for help the first 10 days) divided by n squared calculations that you used to determine how many international operators named Bob, Jane and Mikey to put on?
As a final note to the FNB cheap-as-we-can-be-customer-transition gang, just in case you plan on also taking over the Parkvale Balloon, we suggest you NOT try to save money by simply STAPLING an FNB banner over the Parkvale name, Ya Jagoffs!
Thanks to Collin C for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today AND for basically doing our job for this post!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
