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Jagoff Roof Burglar?

Yeah… so he ALLEGEDLY entered the store, around 3am, via an air conditioning vent on the roof.  One thing he forgot….determine if anyone else was in the building.  Unfortunately there was and it happened to be a security guard who spied a rope ladder and pair of shoes dangling from the ceiling.

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WHAT?  Yep!  He crawled up on to the roof ALLEGEDLY and then down through the air vent.

IMPORTANT NOTE: At press time, it was unclear if the ALLEGED burglar, Thomas Beal, had used the internet connection to purchase a Wyle E. Cyote autographed rope ladder and/or the Wyle E Cyote elevator-jump-shoe-sole attachments to get him up on to the roof or if he used the old-fashioned Batman and Robin method of wall-climbing with a Battarang and rope.

When caught, Beal told police he was simply trying to sleep up on the roof (and then, we assume, he promptly broke out into “Up On The Roof” by the Drifters).

Beally-boy, we have a perfect alibi ready!  Do NOT say you were sleeping.  Say you were training for the next American Ninja Warrior episode. To validate that, make sure you talk about how you practiced the Wharped Wall and beat the @#@# out of that thing… that’s how you got UP on the roof.  (up on the…rooooooooooof)

Either way, have fun in jail… it will be a GREAT place to practice some other skills… like….your underground tunneling skills, Ya Jagoff!!!!

(up on the…rooooooooooof) You’re all WELCOME for the ear worm!



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